The Past Few Weeks

Sometimes we come to a point in life when we simply want to give a full stop at something, or a temporary break just so we could sit down and relax, breathe in deep and take a nap. We feel tensed with the situation we are in but there is apparently no way to escape. Well, I make reasons that I would not be writing for sometime because of commitment to university stuffs, but then again as I think, I guess I ought to rephrase the sentence and instead say that I simply need a quiet break. It is true that my schedule is rather demanding as of now- I am in the middle of three weeks of back-to-back-to-back test period, add that up to a geology excursion this weekend- but most of the time in the past I never looked at such things as a reason. Probably I am just tired, you know, the kind of tiredness you experience when things you learn and discover never fail to frustrate you.

I cannot really tell why, but I am in no mood to celebrate our 50th Independence Day. Perhaps a large part of me believes that our Independence Day actually falls on September 16th and not August 31st, or perhaps I do not think there are plenty of things we could be proud of after 50 years of nationhood, I do not know. Nonetheless I still made my way to the city yesterday, Darling Harbor to be precise to attend Malaysia Festival, or MFest as they put it which I believe was held in conjunction with our Independence Day. Well, I think the event was quite outstanding given the large turnouts that I observed and the fact that it was solely handled by students. Besides the food, I especially like the sketch which I think was quite brilliant in its own way given the time and space constraints that they had. But of course in such event the ugly side of Malaysian was there, but I guess I would rather not to touch on this matter in details simply for the reason that it irked me, and strengthened my original idea that we are just not yet prepared to be part of a nation of 50 years of age.

On another note, I realize that I have not been nice to people of late. More than once as I strolled past the University Walk at the university and came across a group of other Malaysians, I simply turned my head over, pretending that I did not belong to them. I rarely smile these days, and when I did, it felt awkward. Things do not go fairly well with old friends either, I just cannot explain why. Anyway I did give Nageb a call yesterday- only the second time since I came here- and we talked for more than half and hour or so, which was quite impressive if you know me well; I do not talk much to people especially those I have not been interacting with for long. Nageb and me, we were very close friends back then until past-MCKK days separated us into different paths, both chasing for different goals in life. I remember he was the only one I talked to on personal matters back then, and I believe so did he. It did not take long for both of us to grab back the close rapport we once had as I called him yesterday; minutes into the conversation we were again turning into good friends we both used to be, like nothing had actually happened in the last two years since we both made our own separate ways. I guess by giving him that call I did a right thing, and the last thing I have in mind to do now is letting the friendship to numb again. Anyway to the others, do not be surprised if I suddenly give you guys a call in a middle of night in the future, rest assured that I just want the friendship to go on.

I made new Malaysian basketball buddies these past few weeks, including a few Chinese guys last weekend. I used to play with one of those Chinese early this year but we never talked to each other; I guess that is how apparent the racial line separates us, two chaps coming from the same country and playing in the same court, same team and then full stop, nothing else. I always tell myself that I should start to befriend people from other races, - in fact I really want to- but until now I did little to turn it into something real. I guess being quiet never helps. Anyway those Chinese are indeed good fellows; apparently we just did not bump into each other's path before and once we did- in this instance playing together- it clicked so well that it seemed like we have known each other for so long. We even had good laughs in Malay in between plays that left this only non-Malaysian in the team puzzled on what actually was going on. I guess I really enjoyed such moments. But one thing, I could not stop but starting to miss my old CAGERS teammates, with whom I spent four, five years of playing career back then. I would ponder back at the moment when Bob and I had this nice little giggle at the scene of Pozer continuously missing his shots, or Didie making those weird sloppy plays that eventually went into the basket. I would reminisce the moment when I pushed so hard during roadwork just so I could be ahead of Nageb and Geto at the finishing line, or even when I failed, the three of us would regroup right after the stop to laugh at Mijie for finishing last. Memories, how sweet are they. I guess I am not the only one missing them; Nageb related to me the same feeling he had in our phone conversation last night.

I guess that is all for now, I am signing off.

I Am A Free Man

Finally the torture of exam is over. I tell you, my exam this time is much worse than the SPM. OK, I am exaggerating. But it really is tough. No, I am not talking about the questions. It is the two weeks span that was given to prepare for my two papers. Now, for those of you who start to think I am talking bullshit, think again. How many days do you usually take to complete the revision stuff? Some might take long, but I am pretty sure none commit themselves for up to more than a week. Of course some might argue that we can always sneak in some other stuff, do some other things in the wee hours in between the revision period, but then again the sense of guilt is always there to push us back to the study desk. That, for me, is the tough part.

Overall both my Mathematics and Physics papers were OK, at least I hope so. I was so excited to get rid of tension caused by this exam that I did not really think of the questions in the middle Physics exam but instead focusing on finishing it quickly so I could pass it up before time. Of course by saying finishing it quickly, I mean filling in empty spaces of questions that I found rather hard with some bullshitting so it makes a bit of sense, if not much.

Now come the next part, post-exam. Well, since my trip to Melbourne will only take place the day after tomorrow, I found it rather wasteful to stay in the vicinity of home for the mean time, not when you have grabbed the freedom to go away sans apprehension over impending exam. So I went to Aijud’s house, and after Asar we boarded bus no. 396 which dropped us just in front of David Jones of Elizabeth Street- Sydney’s shopping heaven on our sight! Ok, of course shopping does not suit us well, at least not until next month when our sponsor hands us in the next allowance, but hey, we still managed to spend the whole evening there. There was this panicky situation to find a suitable place to pray when Maghrib came though, but still it was worth an experience. In the end, amidst those high-rise shopping malls, mid-year sales, branded stuffs and designer’s boutiques etc., we settled purchasing merely a bundle of super cheap Kinder Bueno and Toblerone at Woolworths which in total cost us less than five dollar. Blame the sponsor for our stinginess.

There are still tomorrow and the day after that to kill, and plenty of things to look for before I am off to Melbourne. Atok is in town anyway while Peja is coming tomorrow from Brisbane, so apparently there will be plenty of stuffs to do. But I guess in the mean time let me take some comfort and breathe in this new-found air of freedom.

Ramblings Of An Exam-Depressed Man

I am supposed to do some algebra at the moment, but never mind. I am just too drowsy to stand the painful torture of studying.

It is exam period here in UNSW. I have two papers to kill, and a span of a week each to get my brain all stuffed up with all those complex numbers, Gauss’s Law of Magnetism stuffs etc. They call it revision week anyway, or study vacation as Aijud sweetly puts it. Heck I hate revision week. It restricts your whole week to sitting in front of the study desk and nothing else, and your whole world is perched in the realm of books, exercises, etc. But then again, it is the only means for a student like me who takes early preparation for granted to get back on track of attaining good grades. Well, they say life is not all about studying. There are still plenty of other things to look for in life beyond the academic orbit. But I say life is about studying when you already flunked in your back-to-back algebra class tests, getting merely half of the possible full marks and your only savior from getting kicked out of university is the final examination. Revision week is good then, pretty much offering me a stick while I am drowned. So I guess this makes me love revision week. Oh God, I am confusing myself here.

On another note, I failed terribly in my quest to get up early in the morning of late. Thrice I tried not to get persuaded by the sweet call of Mr. Mattress and Miss Pillow after the Subuh prayer, and thrice I was not successful. Worse still, the next time I open my eyes it was already one hour or two to noon. Well, it might seem to be a tiny matter to some, but for a person of my sort who spends more than an hour for newspaper and breakfast every single morning, getting up early is simply necessary.Well, since I could not wake up at the sight of the morning sky, I decided to reschedule my daily routine so that I would have a long afternoon span to do some revision. But wait, I am not the type of person who revises during these hours. I remember the only thing I did to fill up my afternoon prep back then in MCKK was sleeping. Even when I did not, my mind was simply too preoccupied with the prospect of basketball training later in the evening. So there you go; the other reason for me to get up early is so that I can get those pages of thick algebra or physics books sifted since afternoon is not a productive span for me.

Speaking of exam, last night I received an email from Izwan, the president of Petronas Club here consisting of some hilarious pictures which he said, ‘to ease your stresses'. Here are three of them:

Funny aren't they? Zahira laughed to tears when I showed them to her.

Moving on, it is not a good time to be in Sydney at this moment; the weather is bizarrely unpredictable. It was storming heavily the past few days where the wind was simply too ferocious that the only you can do is shut yourself up at home. Still, when the sky makes way for the sun to spread its rays, the laziness in me to get out of home pulak takes over.

It is time like this that makes me realize how terribly I miss Malaysia. Oh, this morning I dreamt of being back at home. I attended a relative’s open house and there were these heaps of scrumptious, cholesterol-abundant food, and I was about to ask for this piece of murtabak from my sister when suddenly the alarm clock came into play. Damn. Now, can anyone get me a murtabak here?

Forgive me readers for being so annoying this time, blame not me but the boredom of revision week. The good news is, come this day two weeks from now, I will be on my way to Mebourne as a free man.