Surat Layang ke Manchester

Dear Nageb,

You penned me a wonderful tribute on your now-dead Friendster blog in late 2005, as we were about to embark on our own separate ways after koleq years. I made a pledge to myself when I finished reading that tribute that you, too, deserve one from me. Of course being a terrible friend, I would wait until five years later before I finally put that pledge into action.

Funny, but you did not make a good first impression on me when we first met way back in 2001 in Dorm B. Quite frankly it was not your fault – I was probably too intimated, I mean you did not look like any other 13-year-olds that I knew back then did you? But it did not take long before we clicked and forged a long-lasting friendship.

We entered the same class in our sophomore year, and decided to become desk mates. Things were fine at the beginning but soon you became the batch president, and we may not realize it back then but there was a gap growing steadily in our relationship. At times we refused to talk to each other for days in class, but the funny thing is I could never quite explain what was actually happening. I guess we were just being plainly egoistic, I mean you were holding the highest seat in the batch and I did not quite give you the level of respect that you deserved, partly because I had always wanted to be up there with you too. But hey you know what? I may not show it back then but I was actually in awe of you, and being a 14-year-old I guess I did not quite know how to handle that so yeah, that may have led me to stay away from you.

The rift in our relationship dragged on and I guess that led us to sit far apart in class in Form 3. The fact that we trained at separate basketball courts later in the evening also did not help, so let’s skip this part shall we?

We became desk mates again in Form 4, not by choice if I remember it correctly but because we came in late, when most desks had already been taken up. We were also placed in the same dorm at East Wing but of course being a prefect, you had your own cubicle and though our spots were near, we were separated by a brick wall. Things improved rapidly between us, and the sudden turnaround in your dedication to basketball delighted me and earned you some extra degree of respect.

2005 came and to be honest with you, I was crestfallen when I first knew that you chose to go to New Hostel for our final year in koleq. Why, you may ask? Well, in Form 4 our beds were only separated by a brick wall but now that you chose to go to New Hostel, it would mean a long 10-minutes walk away to see you. I enjoyed our late night chats in Form 4 when both of us could not sleep, and the rush for shower and solat maghrib that we both had everyday after practice. Of course we were still desk mates in class but life would never be the same. Anyway, I should tell you that one of my favourite moments back then was Monday assembly, listening to your weekly speech. I remember all students would sit quietly to listen to what you had to say – a sign of their respect for you.

The curtain of our koleq days would finally fall, and our paths would never again cross after that. But we tried to keep our friendship strong until now didn’t we? Okay, I have to admit that I did not try hard enough.

You know Nageb, I think my problem is that I have too much respect for you that at times I felt intimated and decided to run away and disregard you. In a way I am still like that 13-year-old boy when we first met.

I go around the world telling people that you are my best friend, but deep inside I would always ask myself, have I been a good friend to you? Most of the time my answer would be no, and you too would probably agree with that. I promised that I was going to call you last year as you were busy handling the Scholarship Talk for koleq boys but I did not until now. I often disregarded your email and only replied when I was done with other unimportant works. Even when I called you, it was only to tell you my problems. In sum, I claim that you are my best friend yet I have always pushed you to the sideline, and still am. For that I am sorry.

What else haven’t I touched on?

Oh yeah basketball, of course.

I was back in koleq last month and had a chance to impart some stories to the present Cagers. You know what I told them? Those dying moments in the 2004 PHT Final, when Syafiq fouled out and you stepped up bravely to replace him. I told them about your splendid defence, and how you stunned everyone by scoring that trademark baseline jumper which spurred us to victory. Man, I was on the court for full 40 minutes but your cameo appearance left far more marks than I did! Not that it bothered me though, for at the end of the day we both managed to get hold of the cup of pride – and that was the most important thing.

I still remember that look on your face – stunned, terrified – when I fell down injured in 2005, in our last day of training before we headed to SAS. I stamped that look in my head, and used it as a spur for me to forget the pain and continue to play. Of course much later you would tell me that a part of you were actually relieved that one MVP candidate was already down, but that is another story and one we can laugh about.

You know, when I snubbed you of the vice captaincy and a place in the team’s starting five in 2002, I did not mean to irk you. I saw so much potential in you but somehow you lacked the eagerness, the dedication on court. I did all that in the hope that it would prompt you to improve, to prove that I was wrong all along. Of course as I have mentioned earlier you would go on and do that two years later, much to my delight.

Hey remember that sweet offensive move that we often made? I would cut in from the baseline and you would wait in the middle, ready to receive the ball and score? Boy, that remains my favourite basketball move. Remember when we both decided to shave our heads in preparing for the PHT in 2004? “Nageb jom botakkan kepala, bagi opponent cuak”. I think we did manage to scare them off. Remember the steepness of Maxwell Hill? The dogs barking outside Mr Liew’s Bukit Chandan bungalow as we headed for shower after practice? The chilliness of the morning air in Cameron Highlands?

Outside the basketball court, remember the double dates that we had in 2006? But of course both of us did not last long in serious relationships. Remember those moments in 5 Sc 1, when you would frantically look for the Add Maths paper that Mr Tan gave the previous week but somehow could not find it? Five years on, the thought of how messy your desk could get can still bring a smile to my face. Also, I remember this particular episode in 2006 when you were going through some rough patches in life. I was not around but you came to my Cemara apartment anyway, and left a quote on the white board that I will never forget - "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

Nageb, I am at one of the toughest points of my life at the moment, facing some crisis, but thinking about all these memories on the eve of your 22^nd birthday somehow gave me a sensational calmness.

Happy 22^nd birthday Ahmad Khalis Nazib. Aim for the star, but remember to put your feet on the ground all the time. You know how people would always tell you to have some quiet time with your heart, and listen to what it has to say? I tried that a few times, and it worked wonders. I guess we all should try to do that more often. I cannot give you anymore advice like you did to me because you already seem to have everything. But hey if you ever need someone to talk to you know that I will always be here, just like in old times.

All the best, and I hope you enjoy the Three Cups of Tea.