The Past Few Weeks

Sometimes we come to a point in life when we simply want to give a full stop at something, or a temporary break just so we could sit down and relax, breathe in deep and take a nap. We feel tensed with the situation we are in but there is apparently no way to escape. Well, I make reasons that I would not be writing for sometime because of commitment to university stuffs, but then again as I think, I guess I ought to rephrase the sentence and instead say that I simply need a quiet break. It is true that my schedule is rather demanding as of now- I am in the middle of three weeks of back-to-back-to-back test period, add that up to a geology excursion this weekend- but most of the time in the past I never looked at such things as a reason. Probably I am just tired, you know, the kind of tiredness you experience when things you learn and discover never fail to frustrate you.

I cannot really tell why, but I am in no mood to celebrate our 50th Independence Day. Perhaps a large part of me believes that our Independence Day actually falls on September 16th and not August 31st, or perhaps I do not think there are plenty of things we could be proud of after 50 years of nationhood, I do not know. Nonetheless I still made my way to the city yesterday, Darling Harbor to be precise to attend Malaysia Festival, or MFest as they put it which I believe was held in conjunction with our Independence Day. Well, I think the event was quite outstanding given the large turnouts that I observed and the fact that it was solely handled by students. Besides the food, I especially like the sketch which I think was quite brilliant in its own way given the time and space constraints that they had. But of course in such event the ugly side of Malaysian was there, but I guess I would rather not to touch on this matter in details simply for the reason that it irked me, and strengthened my original idea that we are just not yet prepared to be part of a nation of 50 years of age.

On another note, I realize that I have not been nice to people of late. More than once as I strolled past the University Walk at the university and came across a group of other Malaysians, I simply turned my head over, pretending that I did not belong to them. I rarely smile these days, and when I did, it felt awkward. Things do not go fairly well with old friends either, I just cannot explain why. Anyway I did give Nageb a call yesterday- only the second time since I came here- and we talked for more than half and hour or so, which was quite impressive if you know me well; I do not talk much to people especially those I have not been interacting with for long. Nageb and me, we were very close friends back then until past-MCKK days separated us into different paths, both chasing for different goals in life. I remember he was the only one I talked to on personal matters back then, and I believe so did he. It did not take long for both of us to grab back the close rapport we once had as I called him yesterday; minutes into the conversation we were again turning into good friends we both used to be, like nothing had actually happened in the last two years since we both made our own separate ways. I guess by giving him that call I did a right thing, and the last thing I have in mind to do now is letting the friendship to numb again. Anyway to the others, do not be surprised if I suddenly give you guys a call in a middle of night in the future, rest assured that I just want the friendship to go on.

I made new Malaysian basketball buddies these past few weeks, including a few Chinese guys last weekend. I used to play with one of those Chinese early this year but we never talked to each other; I guess that is how apparent the racial line separates us, two chaps coming from the same country and playing in the same court, same team and then full stop, nothing else. I always tell myself that I should start to befriend people from other races, - in fact I really want to- but until now I did little to turn it into something real. I guess being quiet never helps. Anyway those Chinese are indeed good fellows; apparently we just did not bump into each other's path before and once we did- in this instance playing together- it clicked so well that it seemed like we have known each other for so long. We even had good laughs in Malay in between plays that left this only non-Malaysian in the team puzzled on what actually was going on. I guess I really enjoyed such moments. But one thing, I could not stop but starting to miss my old CAGERS teammates, with whom I spent four, five years of playing career back then. I would ponder back at the moment when Bob and I had this nice little giggle at the scene of Pozer continuously missing his shots, or Didie making those weird sloppy plays that eventually went into the basket. I would reminisce the moment when I pushed so hard during roadwork just so I could be ahead of Nageb and Geto at the finishing line, or even when I failed, the three of us would regroup right after the stop to laugh at Mijie for finishing last. Memories, how sweet are they. I guess I am not the only one missing them; Nageb related to me the same feeling he had in our phone conversation last night.

I guess that is all for now, I am signing off.