THE SEA INSIDE

Enter the (Year of the) Dragon

2012-01-21T23:00:00.009+11:00

It's the Chinese New Year long weekend, which means an extended break at home - more free time & a chance to say hi & check the dust that's been gathering on this blog. The Chinese are ushering in the Year of the Dragon, which was also the year I was born 24 years ago. I actually found myself giddy with excitement!

I am an admirer of the Chinese, because of their hardworking nature & amazing ability to sniff opportunities & stamp their mark at every little corner of the world that they live in. Many do not know (though maybe they'd guessed), but I'm actually half-Chinese. My mom was born a Chinese but grew up in a Malay family. She never met her biological parents. We never talked about this at home after mom told us about it for the first time, but deep down I actually am quite proud of this fact. For a start, I'd like to think that the good brain that I'm blessed with (alhamdulillah) is a result of this mixed gene. Then there's also my look, which has a Chinese trace. In fact, 9 out 10 people who met me for the first time would assume that I'm a Chinese. One of my biggest joy is looking at their priceless expression upon learning about my identity (Malay, by constitution at least) - often this after a long conversation during which I gave no hints of my Malay-ness.

(I actually used to hate it when people asked why I look Chinese - but this before I learnt about my mom's story. Now I'm totally at ease - in fact I take pride when people are confused with my identity).

I wish I had learnt Mandarin though, that would allow me to do a total penyamaran of identity! But all in all, I'm thankful for my origin, for it also allows me to see people through clear prism without judgments for their ethnicity.

I'd like to wish Happy New Year to all my Chinese friends wherever you are! May the Year of the Dragon bring joy & bounty to you as we strive to make ourselves better persons & this country a better place.

Note to Self

2011-06-21T23:21:00.005+10:00

Think you're big eh?

In 1990, as Voyager 1 was about to leave the solar system, it turned its camera around & snap a photograph of the Earth. That photograph is of course the famous 'Pale Blue Dot':

Carl Sagan, the man responsible for the photograph has this to say:

"From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Look again at that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

So next time you think big of yourself, think about the Pale Blue Dot. Think about how insignificant you are in the vast expanse of space, in the eye of the others. Then perhaps you might want to do something about your life.

Death of A Magazine

2010-12-28T23:57:00.010+11:00

Selamat tinggal, eh?

One of the first things I did when reached Malaysia was to look for Off the Edge on the magazine stand in the local bookstores. It was almost a ritual - after all, I've been following this magazine since its inception in 2005 if I remember it correctly, and I had not missed a single edition except for the period when I was out of the country.

So imagine my fear & puzzlement when I couldn't find a single copy of the latest edition after visits to countless stores. I thought, they couldn't have ceased publication could they? I'm sure there are many fans out there, myself included so there's no ground for them to do that. Except they did, as confirmed by a post on their Facebook page which I found a few days later.

I'm lost for words, how could they do this to me? I demand an explanation. Some people I've talked to gave a simple theory - they simply did not have enough readership to remain afloat. How could this be? But what a sad outcome for this esteemed magazine if it's true. Sad because it's such a good magazine. Sad because haven't Mangga, URTV and its like been around for years, if not decades with no signs of slowing down? Sad because... well I thought I'd touch on mentality but I will stop short of jumping into a conclusion right here, though I'm sure you can make the link.

Almost There

2010-10-20T20:02:00.005+11:00

These streets, almost 4 years now (picture and caption courtesy of Aijud - maaf Aijud, tak minta izin pun)

So I submitted my final-year thesis last week. Pretty much the only things that separate me from the completion of my degree (and the end of my time here in Sydney) now are one assignment due at the end of this week and two final exams.

A lot has happened since the last time this space got a taste of my writing. A lot more will happen from this point on, and I intend to capture them here one at a time, insyaAllah.

"I want to change the world. But right now, I shall live one day at a time."

Thought #2

2010-05-24T00:15:00.002+10:00

The idea of going to that dream university of mine has not died down yet. I just need to figure out the money part.

Setting the Balloon Free

2010-05-05T23:14:00.004+10:00

How often did we apologize for our own failings, for our shortcomings? We know full-well that we are the bad ass, we stifled people, pushed them to the fore but more often than not we found ways to put the blame on them. We felt glorious doing that, but hey I saw a sad face looking in the mirror when the day ends, why is that? Suddenly all questions roll over, the anxiety comes creeping back.

Sometimes we hate people so much that we can no longer recognize ourselves. We claim ‘I am okay,’ but deep down the noise is disturbing, and it keeps building.

If only we can learn to forgive and forget. If only we realize that hatred and sadness can be filled in a balloon, which can later be set free. And it will fly away. Racing across the ocean, up over the mountain and pacing the green meadow with the bright sunny sky as the background. And there is no greater satisfaction than watching that. The sad face in the mirror will no longer be there, and that noise inside will slowly die away.

Thought #1

2010-03-17T16:35:00.002+11:00

When I was 17, I wanted to meet Hang Jebat and Julius Caesar.

Surat Layang ke Manchester

2010-03-11T22:22:00.024+11:00

Dear Nageb,

You penned me a wonderful tribute on your now-dead Friendster blog in late 2005, as we were about to embark on our own separate ways after koleq years. I made a pledge to myself when I finished reading that tribute that you, too, deserve one from me. Of course being a terrible friend, I would wait until five years later before I finally put that pledge into action.

Funny, but you did not make a good first impression on me when we first met way back in 2001 in Dorm B. Quite frankly it was not your fault – I was probably too intimated, I mean you did not look like any other 13-year-olds that I knew back then did you? But it did not take long before we clicked and forged a long-lasting friendship.

We entered the same class in our sophomore year, and decided to become desk mates. Things were fine at the beginning but soon you became the batch president, and we may not realize it back then but there was a gap growing steadily in our relationship. At times we refused to talk to each other for days in class, but the funny thing is I could never quite explain what was actually happening. I guess we were just being plainly egoistic, I mean you were holding the highest seat in the batch and I did not quite give you the level of respect that you deserved, partly because I had always wanted to be up there with you too. But hey you know what? I may not show it back then but I was actually in awe of you, and being a 14-year-old I guess I did not quite know how to handle that so yeah, that may have led me to stay away from you.

The rift in our relationship dragged on and I guess that led us to sit far apart in class in Form 3. The fact that we trained at separate basketball courts later in the evening also did not help, so let’s skip this part shall we?

We became desk mates again in Form 4, not by choice if I remember it correctly but because we came in late, when most desks had already been taken up. We were also placed in the same dorm at East Wing but of course being a prefect, you had your own cubicle and though our spots were near, we were separated by a brick wall. Things improved rapidly between us, and the sudden turnaround in your dedication to basketball delighted me and earned you some extra degree of respect.

2005 came and to be honest with you, I was crestfallen when I first knew that you chose to go to New Hostel for our final year in koleq. Why, you may ask? Well, in Form 4 our beds were only separated by a brick wall but now that you chose to go to New Hostel, it would mean a long 10-minutes walk away to see you. I enjoyed our late night chats in Form 4 when both of us could not sleep, and the rush for shower and solat maghrib that we both had everyday after practice. Of course we were still desk mates in class but life would never be the same. Anyway, I should tell you that one of my favourite moments back then was Monday assembly, listening to your weekly speech. I remember all students would sit quietly to listen to what you had to say – a sign of their respect for you.

The curtain of our koleq days would finally fall, and our paths would never again cross after that. But we tried to keep our friendship strong until now didn’t we? Okay, I have to admit that I did not try hard enough.

You know Nageb, I think my problem is that I have too much respect for you that at times I felt intimated and decided to run away and disregard you. In a way I am still like that 13-year-old boy when we first met.

I go around the world telling people that you are my best friend, but deep inside I would always ask myself, have I been a good friend to you? Most of the time my answer would be no, and you too would probably agree with that. I promised that I was going to call you last year as you were busy handling the Scholarship Talk for koleq boys but I did not until now. I often disregarded your email and only replied when I was done with other unimportant works. Even when I called you, it was only to tell you my problems. In sum, I claim that you are my best friend yet I have always pushed you to the sideline, and still am. For that I am sorry.

What else haven’t I touched on?

Oh yeah basketball, of course.

I was back in koleq last month and had a chance to impart some stories to the present Cagers. You know what I told them? Those dying moments in the 2004 PHT Final, when Syafiq fouled out and you stepped up bravely to replace him. I told them about your splendid defence, and how you stunned everyone by scoring that trademark baseline jumper which spurred us to victory. Man, I was on the court for full 40 minutes but your cameo appearance left far more marks than I did! Not that it bothered me though, for at the end of the day we both managed to get hold of the cup of pride – and that was the most important thing.

I still remember that look on your face – stunned, terrified – when I fell down injured in 2005, in our last day of training before we headed to SAS. I stamped that look in my head, and used it as a spur for me to forget the pain and continue to play. Of course much later you would tell me that a part of you were actually relieved that one MVP candidate was already down, but that is another story and one we can laugh about.

You know, when I snubbed you of the vice captaincy and a place in the team’s starting five in 2002, I did not mean to irk you. I saw so much potential in you but somehow you lacked the eagerness, the dedication on court. I did all that in the hope that it would prompt you to improve, to prove that I was wrong all along. Of course as I have mentioned earlier you would go on and do that two years later, much to my delight.

Hey remember that sweet offensive move that we often made? I would cut in from the baseline and you would wait in the middle, ready to receive the ball and score? Boy, that remains my favourite basketball move. Remember when we both decided to shave our heads in preparing for the PHT in 2004? “Nageb jom botakkan kepala, bagi opponent cuak”. I think we did manage to scare them off. Remember the steepness of Maxwell Hill? The dogs barking outside Mr Liew’s Bukit Chandan bungalow as we headed for shower after practice? The chilliness of the morning air in Cameron Highlands?

Outside the basketball court, remember the double dates that we had in 2006? But of course both of us did not last long in serious relationships. Remember those moments in 5 Sc 1, when you would frantically look for the Add Maths paper that Mr Tan gave the previous week but somehow could not find it? Five years on, the thought of how messy your desk could get can still bring a smile to my face. Also, I remember this particular episode in 2006 when you were going through some rough patches in life. I was not around but you came to my Cemara apartment anyway, and left a quote on the white board that I will never forget - "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

Nageb, I am at one of the toughest points of my life at the moment, facing some crisis, but thinking about all these memories on the eve of your 22^nd birthday somehow gave me a sensational calmness.

Happy 22^nd birthday Ahmad Khalis Nazib. Aim for the star, but remember to put your feet on the ground all the time. You know how people would always tell you to have some quiet time with your heart, and listen to what it has to say? I tried that a few times, and it worked wonders. I guess we all should try to do that more often. I cannot give you anymore advice like you did to me because you already seem to have everything. But hey if you ever need someone to talk to you know that I will always be here, just like in old times.

All the best, and I hope you enjoy the Three Cups of Tea.

From Zero to Hero

2009-10-12T00:26:00.004+11:00

Remember Martin Palermo? Well for you avid football fans out there, you surely must have known him from his past & present exploits on the field, be it a club level or with the international team. For you who are not & need some introduction, here is an interesting one for you; Martin Palermo missed three penalties for Argentina in a single game in 1999.

That sends him into the record book. Not a normal one – Guiness Book of World Records. Now, that is surely not something you want to be proud of.

Anyway, after a 10-year exile he was recently called back into the national team, much to everyone’s surprise. Surely he looks forward to make amends for his decade-old error, don’t you think? Make amends he did, scoring arguably the most important goal for his national team this year in the dying stages of last night’s World Cup qualifying match. That keeps Argentina hope of reaching South Africa in next year alive.

People would not forget about those three missed penalties. But if Argentina goes through, whenever Martin Palermo’s name is uttered in the future, people would also recall that famous goal which saved the nation from embarrassment.

Destinasi: Kuala Kangsar

2009-09-26T10:51:00.004+10:00

Belok kanan, jalan terus sampailah ke Kuala Kangsar.

Bandar diraja, bumi seribu cerita. Di sini cita-cita ditanam, di sini dicorak masa depan.

Hujan renyai-renyai menyambut ketibaan. Nota kecil dipegang, kononnya mahu dicatit segala pengalaman. Kalaulah dapat diambil segala teladan, disimpan kemas dalam fikiran. Kalaulah dapat direkodkan segala ragam manusia yang ditemukan. Kalaulah dapat digambarkan keindahan alam di seluruh tempat kaki ini telah sampai. Kalaulah boleh diambil selangkah ke belakang, supaya lebih jelas langkah ke depan. Kalaulah.. Hujan berhenti.

Lelah dek perjalanan yang panjang, duduk-duduk sebentar di tepi Sungai Perak menghirup udara nyaman. Nyaman sekali angin Kuala sepoi-sepoi bahasa datang membalut badan. Sungai Perak mungkin tak sehandal Sungai Piedra, tapi nyamannya, tenangnya tetap mendamaikan fikiran.

Tiba malam, siren keretapi memecah kesunyian. Berpuluh tahun, keretapi berkarat ini masih setia singgah ke Kuala mengambil penumpang. Aku hirup kopi pahit di kedai berdekatan stesen, duduk semeja dengan Pak Lebai. Apa cerita terbaru Kuala Kangsar pak? Tiada cerita baru, semua masih seperti dulu. Selaju mana arus kemodenan, sekuat mana pengaruh seberang lautan, Kuala Kangsar tetap tenang dan aman. Oh, Cikgu Yop Zain anak jati pekan dah berhijrah, kamu tahu?

Belok kanan, jalan terus sampailah ke Kuala Kangsar. Bunyinya macam jauh, namun jangan mengeluh, kata orang perjalanan itu penting bagi menimba pengalaman.

Pressure

2009-05-29T16:54:00.004+10:00

A friend hurt his knee in a basketball game last year. He could neither walk nor stand up, so the ambulance had to carry him off to the nearby hospital. He had to scrape together hundreds of dollars to pay for the ambulance because his health insurance would not provide cover. After he was out, it was clear that he was under intense pressure. The pain was killing him, and the substantial loss in money drove him crazy. He told me that he felt like going back right away from where we were. He wanted to take a 16-hour train alone that would cost him another hundred or so dollars, which was foolish since there were plenty of cheap flights available. Everyone convinced him not to go with the idea, but he could not care less. Perhaps, he just felt that it was the right decision and doing it would help him stave off the pressure.

Men resort to doing the unthinkable when they come under pressure. Whether it is the pain from losing in a soccer game, or failing to put some food on the table, or getting shitty result in an exam, or being dumped by a girlfriend, no one likes the feeling of being under pressure. Some are strong enough to stand through it, but others reach the tipping point easily and decide to pull the trigger. It is a small wonder that we are seeing crazy things in the world today in huge numbers – all stemmed from men losing the battle and choosing to do the latter.

But you cannot put complete blame on them can you? Some are just born weak, while others face a pressure so big that they wilt. Sometimes the ball just is not falling when you want it to and pressure robs those unlucky men of their souls. You cannot simply pass on judgments unless you yourselves have gone through a similar battle.

Biar Miskin

2009-03-27T10:27:00.004+11:00

He might be a mere construction worker in Indonesia, but his lesson resonates through every corner of the world.

I am trying to find the source of this wonderful picture. If any of you have seen it before and know where the origin is, please do share it with me. Thanks.

One In A Million

2009-03-19T22:10:00.007+11:00

In his world-famous book, The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman wrote:

“In China, where there are 1.3 billion people and the universities are just starting to crack the top ranks, the competition for top spots is ferocious. The math/science salmon that swims upstream in China and gets itself admitted to a top Chinese university or hired by a foreign company is one smart fish. The folks of Microsoft have a saying about their research center in Beijing, which, for scientists and engineers, is one of the most sought-after places to work in all of China. ‘Remember, in China when you are one in a million – there are thirteen hundred other people just like you.’ ”

Tentang PPSMI

2009-03-07T09:00:00.006+11:00

There certainly had been a steady stream of grouses against PPSMI since its inception in 2003. Many feel that the prolonged use of English as the medium in Science and Mathematics at school threatens the very existence of Malay language in the country. I would not say that I totally disagree with this group of people; they certainly have a point and I spare nothing but respect for their passion. Events of the past few months, however, have arguably brought this disagreement to a totally new level. In the latest development, there is a planned gathering in KL today for 100 thousand people who are against this implementation (though I very much that they will ever reach that figure, but let’s not focus on that).

My question is, why now? Why didn’t they voice out their dissent when the program was first implemented six years back? Yeah there had been similar concern, but I do not recall it being as strong as it is now. Surely if similar efforts were put in place back then, they could have made a huge difference. Perhaps more important, why do the government even consider reverting back to using Malay language as the medium only after six years of implementation? It seems that for each step forward that we take, we anxiously take a look back and constantly think about reversing two steps.

This reminds me a lot to another local body that is going nowhere, the FAM. First they decided to do away with foreign imports in our national football leagues, and after only a few years they made a complete U-turn to that decision. This year they decided to do it all over again, getting rid of the foreigners for the new season. Haven’t they learnt any lesson from that first effort? Look at the state of our national team; they are fast moving in downwards direction. I dread to think about the fate of our students facing a similar situation.

I am no expert in our education system, but I can tell with confidence that six years is not enough to gauge the effectiveness of PPSMI. Even the first batch that sat for Science and Mathematics in English are still juggling their ways in universities. Wait until after a decade or two for the result - look at the level of English competency amongst fresh graduates, the rate of employment, and the level of progress we have made in science and technology field. If, God forbids, the picture by that time is not all pretty and rosy, then only we should seriously consider taking a step in a new direction. As of now, there is just no way of telling that the implementation is going to bring us nowhere. In fact, if the recent results of PMR and SPM are to give us any indication, the future actually looks bright and there is no harm done along the way.

Of course cynics will argue that it is best if we overturn a bad decision before things get worse. After all, why wait until storm when we could have run away or build a shelter early on? Choosing to wait until after a decade or so is a sheer waste of time, especially if the end result proves to be disastrous. I understand this predicament, but as I said there are just no hard facts to support the notion that PPSMI does not work. If one can come out with a strong, convincing argument backed by facts to revert back to the use of Malay language as the medium, I am sure that everyone will be willing to listen.

I do realize, though, that the main concern of anti-PPMSI groups is that it will only downgrade the Malay language. The problem is that this is a subjective matter; there is just no way to see the effect of PPSMI on Malay language, no hard facts it to back it up. If my sheer thought alone can provide any consolation, I do not think that PPSMI will be detrimental. We still hold our daily conversation with peers in Malay language, and we can still perfectly understand Berita Harian. However, I might be wrong altogether. Their worst fear is that our national language will creep away from the society slowly, and it might be gone even before we realize it, before we can do something about it. We might still speak in Malay language, but English words are incorporated in our sentences more and more. We have no problem reading Berita Harian, but we choose to buy The Star. This is the unseen impact of PPSMI that they believe to exist.

Now if we can just hold on for a sec and examine our options – where do we go from here? Our main aim is two-pronged – we want to produce students who are highly competent in English especially in Science and Mathematics, but at the same time we also want to preserve the national language. We can go back to where we were, using Malay language as the tool in Science and Mathematics and then think about ways to beef up the English level. Unless serious attempts are made at this, this does not pose much difference from our previous situation and does not look promising. Or we can continue with the current system, and throw serious efforts in maintaining the Malay language. This looks more doable since we already have the system in place, and the fact that Malay language is still very much in makes things easier and more assuring. On one hand we have an option which needs us to make our way back and still does not guarantee that we will ever get anywhere. On the other, the option poses some challenges but there is a promise that we can fulfil both aims.

Time and again people will come and say that PPSMI will not work, that the whole system must be changed. But why change the entire system when you can work on improving the implementations? Your newly-bought car breaks down in the middle of the road, do you trade it in and purchase a new one straight-away or do you send it to mechanics to fix the broken part? I have not gone through the part where a change in our system will cost us significantly in the publication of new textbooks, the need to provide new guidelines to our teachers, the disposal of exam papers already printed in English and so forth. In this gloomy period for the world economics, the last thing we want to hear is the government proposing millions of dollars of new incentive to change to the face of a system that has not proven to be negative.

The other part of the problem is the charge that we are making life difficult for students in the rural area who are already struggling with scientific concepts and mathematical theories, now having to deal with them altogether in English. Again, this can be well improved by a more proper execution. Extra teachers can be put in place to assist, and perhaps efforts can be made to expose these students to English at a younger age. Thousands of others come from families who speak no English, read no English, yet they blossom when Science and Mathematics are being taught in this language. Some even secured scholarships and gained entrance to prestigious universities. So, no excuse, okay? Besides, we are not doing them any favour by retracting back to Malay language. Surely progress cannot be achieved if all we do is pamper these students and remove their struggles. How long more are we going to make life easy for the children?

My worst fear is that this matter is being used by opportunists for their own political gains. We are seeing it today, and I fret to think of the fate of the future generations if this trend continues.

Jebat Must Die wrote a good piece on this. On a different note, Saharil Hasrin Sanin penned a wonderful essay on the fate of our national language in New Malaysian Essays 1 and his thought on healing it. I could not find this essay anywhere on the net – I am afraid the only way for you to read it is to buy the book yourself, which I guarantee will be worth every penny.

God Give Him Strength

2009-03-01T01:05:00.002+11:00

My father just got hospitalized a couple of nights back, only 24 hours after I got back in Sydney. He had been complaining about having a chest pain to my mom since the past few months after doing seemingly simple household routines, going up and down the stairs for instance. On Thursday night, he passed out while performing the Maghrib prayer at the nearby surau, causing horror to the fellow jemaah who were there. He got sent to Selangor Medical Centre in Shah Alam immediately by mom, before being transferred to IJN because the former is not a panel for his health insurance.

The last time I checked, he was already moved to Day Care Unit at IJN, though that is still under CCU, so I was told. This Monday they are going to have a medical procedure called angiogram conducted to check for clogged heart arteries. My mom had constantly tried to assure me not to worry, but how could I not when father is lying on a hospital bed and I am thousands of miles away? Luckily my eldest sister, the only other member of the family who is away had decided to skip class and come back all the way from Kuantan; I hope that can provide some comfort to my father, seeing the kids around. In the meantime all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and pray that nothing bad will ever happen to him, that his health will improve. If you guys can recite a bit of prayers for him, too, I would really appreciate that.

Brilliant Stuff

2009-02-24T02:34:00.006+11:00

A good friend brought this to my attention the other day, it is so good I would not want to miss the chance to share it with you guys:

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly by the Palestinian Representative and made the world community smile.

'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. An Israeli had stolen them.'
The Israeli representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Israelis weren't there then.'
The Palestinian representative smiled and said,
'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.'

Twenty-One

2009-02-16T03:08:00.002+11:00

I turned 21 last Saturday. Alhamdulillah.

Time is a strange thing, you see. I feel that it was not long ago that I wrote a piece here for my 20th birthday. All those things that I had been doing for the past two, three years did not seem like a distant memory. Over the years, there were dreams that were planted but soon forgotten. As my birthday arrives every year, I cannot help but look back regretfully at all those things behind me, the could haves and should haves, all the empty promises and moments when I lost focus on life’s true motives.

Despite all that, I am grateful for being given this opportunity to breathe my life into its 21 years of age, and to be constantly rewarded with good health and beautiful bounties. I know I have not been the best of servant, so to be given all these blessings is indeed gracious of Him. I shall strive to improve myself every single moment of everyday out of appreciation for all these.

People say that 21 is a big number, that it signals the start of adulthood. It marks the moment when you begin to spread your wings out wide for you now have total freedom to control your own destiny, so say a friend. I do not know about you, but I certainly do not see anything glitzy about turning 21. At any rate, it is just a reminder of another year gone by and of the added pressure and bigger burden that need to be shouldered as people get older, the thought of which is actually scary.

Thanks to all you guys who had given me fervent wishes, no words can describe my appreciation. Sorry if I have not been too kind any of you, or if you feel that I have downgraded myself as a friend or family member of yours. Having you guys around is indeed one of the best things that could happen to me, though I seldom say so.

Outward Bound School

2009-02-13T04:19:00.007+11:00

Late last month, PETRONAS sent me for an experience of a lifetime to Outward Bound School, Lumut together with other scholars.

The whole experience was fun, really. It does not matter that we came back from the one-week adventure with battered body, everyone seemed to be enjoying it up to the very last moment.

Looking back, none of us had any clear idea of what to expect when we arrived in Lumut. True, some had already asked dear friends who had been through but that hardly prepared us for the real challenge that lay ahead. First off, certainly no one would have guessed that the dormitory would be placed so high up that going up and down looked more like an endurance test rather than a routine affair. Then there was also the long ordeal of kayaking around Pangkor Island, covering a distance of 24 kilometres in two days. As our muscle still ached courtesy of the rough kayak experience, we were put on a whaler in a group, rowing and sailing for another two days. Boys and girls, no escape, everyone was in. The strong cheered for the battered, and together we braved through the sea heading to our destination. Each time a goal was reached, it felt brilliant.

You see, battling physically to pass through all those ordeals is one thing, but convincing yourself that you can actually do it in the first place is quite another. You spent hours battling the sea in your kayak yet the end was nowhere in sight. There and then, with energy drained fast, the only thing that pushed you forward was your conviction, the voice in you saying that you could reach the destination. I do not know if anyone ever questioned the logic behind OBS, but if there is the answer is clear; it trains you to constantly renew your willpower, to always have the self-belief in the roughest of circumstances.

The experience also renewed my respect and admiration for the opposite gender. They laboured the same amount of works as the guys yet there was no complaint, everyone was determined to see off the challenge. When difficulties arise, they were amongst the first to get up and offered help.

I am forever grateful for this experience, for the chance to do things that I could not possibly think that I would be able to do. Also, the opportunity to say hi to old acquaintances and make some new ones along the way was priceless. I will forever keep the memories etched in my mind.

Ragam Tuan Timbalan

2009-02-10T04:49:00.005+11:00

The Deputy Prime Minister, Datuk Seri Najib was being questioned by a reporter in the wake of recent events in Perak;

R: So now BN and Pakatan Rakyat have equal number of seats in Perak, don’t you think that the state government formed by BN will be fragile? What if any of the three independents decide to go back to Pakatan Rakyat?

N: They won’t go back to Pakatan Rakyat. Why do you ask me about something that will not happen?

R: Well I’m just raising the possibility, it might happen.

N: No it will not happen.

R: What if it does?

N: If it does happen then only I will answer your question, as of now it doesn’t happen.

Well I am sorry Mr. Deputy Prime Minister, but seeing how you answered those questions, I am quite afraid of the prospect of the future. I find it hard to believe that you will do well when being put one-on-one against the likes of Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I cannot quite give my full support to you in your quest for the highest office yet Mr. Deputy Prime Minister, at least until you are able to respond well in conversations.

Thank God for Sports

2009-02-04T04:35:00.003+11:00

I enjoy watching sporting events, and often the highlight reel for me, the one that makes me wait all night is the moment the match ends. An obvious reason is that is when the final result unfolds. But other than that, the reason why I usually get all excited and eager towards the end of the show is the unscripted drama that follows. The winners and their unlucky opponents who lose are the main actors.

So as the drama unfolds, I watch with great empathy as both sets of players are engulfed in emotions – albeit different, opposite ones. The winners raise their hands up to the sky in triumph while at the other end players sit dejectedly, eyes fixed to the ground. My favourite part is when both shake hands and exchange some quick chat, perhaps some congratulatory words are offered in exchange for comforting ones. I have always tried to guess what exactly they were saying to each other, and whether they are all real or merely acts in front of the camera and crowds.

The reason I bring this up is because I was touched by the drama that surrounded the prize giving ceremony of the Australian Open, men’s singles event involving the winner Rafael Nadal and his arch rival Roger Federer. I felt for Federer, I thought his frustration was real. I was sure everyone in the stadium could sense his weight of emotions, how badly he wanted the title. You see, sportsmen these days are so often associated with ego and ridiculous demands while lacking the passion for the game. I am sure no one will disagree with me that in Federer we have a true sportsman, someone that defies the aforementioned stereotypes of his fellow men.

Incredibly he was not the only true sportsman the world had watched last Sunday night in Melbourne. Nadal, for his friendly gestures and his sincere apology to his rival has won the hearts of millions. How many times have you seen a winner this humble? More often than not they did not even care to give you a credit for the game well fought, much less apologize for the dejection caused.

'Tis the reason I love sports. With icons like Nadal and Federer around, I fail to see why I would stop.

Of Boycotting US Products

2009-01-18T04:52:00.004+11:00

I wanted to write about the furore over the boycott on US products, but Nageb has done a marvellous job on that and I am tempted to merely lead you to his writing. Essentially my opinion was pretty much in the same context as his, that the idea of boycotting the products is not aimed at crippling the US economy but rather is a moral obligation to all human alike as a show of defiance towards the mass killings in Gaza. Of course, seeing their economy collapse at the end of the day would give a more sound reminder. However, let’s be real; we are talking about the biggest economy in the world which depends not only on two or three products. Surely without concerted effort, our action would hardly bring any impact on their part. Nevertheless this reason alone is not ample to justify one’s decision to exempt oneself from this effort of boycotting the products; as has been stressed by Nageb, while the number of people murdered in Gaza grows day by day, surely the least we can do is stop buying products that will eventually benefit the nation that supports this violence. If you cannot even agree to this simple act, all I can say is you are the epitome of utter selfishness. Our society has become rotten beyond repair.

The other thing that bothers me is the argument that the boycott will only lead to the downfall of local companies that sell the US products. Well, again I have a helping hand; read this piece by Tun Mahathir, look out for point number 13. Anyway, I do not believe that our effort would go full circle to the point of crashing the local economy. At this rate we are doing, I believe that no McDonald’s franchise would close down, certainly no local workers would get fired. Even if the latter happens, how severe is that compared to the fate of people of Gaza? Moreover, the boycott would also be restricted to a few products. Certainly foreign investment would keep coming in; I do not believe that this government is going to say no to US companies looking for a root here despite their earlier call to stay away from goods from this country.

It all comes down to the question of whether you are willing to take action. In this instance, certainly going to Gaza yourself to help is not realistic. What do we do then? Well, for me the next thing we can do apart from doa is to boycott US goods. You can join me, or you can stand up from far and watch as the sufferings in Gaza continue.

Bacalah

2009-01-11T04:04:00.001+11:00

Read. Read, read, read as many books as you can. You get to travel the world from your armchair.
- Dina Zaman

More on Palestine

2008-12-31T04:26:00.004+11:00

You know, it is funny that the UN referred to their latest meeting as an emergency meeting. More than 300 Palestinians have been massacred, and only now they decide to converge to have this so-called emergency meeting? Imagine a local hospital putting patients in need of immediate medical attention in queue until their number reaches, say 30 before they decide to call up the doctor - ‘Hey doc, we need you, it’s emergency.’ Guess what, we have a contender. The OIC is only having its own emergency meeting this Saturday - ‘Doc, we now have 30 patients. But what the heck, let’s just wait until Saturday.’ How do these people define ‘emergency’?

Let us give them some breathing space shall we? We are in Christmas period and everyone needs a break. Only, Israel decided not to give any to their soldiers and asked them to bomb Palestine instead, and by logic that should have automatically delayed the holiday plans of our UN leaders. Now, what about you OIC? What excuse can you give to the suffering Palestinians? I know what your answer is going to be - ‘Hey, we are having our first ever meeting in 2009 this early to discuss about their plights, give us a bit of credits would you?’

Go down to Gaza and see for yourselves the massacre. Stop the Israeli tanks from marching across the border yourselves, or ask your army of bodyguards to do it if you have not got the nerves. Drive doctors in to treat the victims, and use your bare hands to feed the child who had just lost their parents to the enemy’s missile. Okay, those might be a bit of exaggeration and is not possible, but you get the idea don’t you? We are asking you not to just sit down in your comfy office and write a memorandum or call for the emergency meeting; they are not going to change a thing.

On another note, it is encouraging to see the rage at the violence and support for Palestinians being demonstrated all over the world. If only our leaders feel the same kind of urgency, and demonstrate the similar line of actions.

You bastard Israel, you better wreck that sorry state next to you to dusts or no one is lighting you up the victory cigar. Everyone knows that this is a David versus Goliath war. What are you, cowards, using those advanced American-made weapons against the unarmed civilians?

Yes I am raged. You should be, too.

God, Give Them Strength

2008-12-29T06:58:00.001+11:00

Let us spare some thoughts for our brothers and sisters in Palestine during this difficult time of theirs. While we are busy making plans and indulging in this long holiday period, let us think for a moment about all those people who are kept busy all year long by the threat of bullets and bombs from the enemy. We are pleased to have had the chance to go on a Boxing Day shopping spree, when thousands of others in the Gaza Strip do not even have enough food and warm clothing and had to endure the sight of a killing spree. Let us share our grievance amidst the sparkles and sounds of fireworks in celebration of the New Year for the fate of young Palestinian kids who are not even unsure if they or their family members could survive another day.

May God give them patience, and may they be rewarded with goodness here in this world and the hereafter.

Word of the Day

2008-12-16T11:28:00.003+11:00

Han - The Korean cultural concept of lament. There is no literal English translation. It is a state of mind. Of soul, really. A sadness. A sadness so deep no tears will come. And yet still there is hope.

Bukit Antarabangsa Landslide

2008-12-09T00:24:00.007+11:00

I just came to know that Shaiful Khas Shahrudin, one of the four victims of the destructive landslide in Bukit Antarabangsa is a younger brother of the girlfriend’s good friend. I may not know her directly, but I hope wherever she is she can remain strong and cope well with the terrible loss. Let us just spare a minute to recite Al-Fatihah for the victims, may they find peace in the afterlife.

Raf lives nearby the landslide site, he is safe and his house is unaffected except for the electricity cut-off. He even joked about needing a helicopter to get out of the area, and how restless he felt not being able to go to work. An auntie’s sister-in-law was also in the area, mom told me her family is fine. Didy’s house was even closer, in fact her family was trapped for a few hours but thank God they are safe. Another friend, Haziq, lives not far from Didy’s. I have not heard of his fate. I pray that his whole family is okay and he can come through this whole episode unscathed.

Let us hope that this is the last time we heard about a tragedy of this magnitude, and that the powers that be can find ways to help put a full stop to it. Let us also pray for the surviving victims to remain calm and patient in coming to terms with this unwanted catastrophe.

Guantanamo Bay & American Values

2008-12-04T14:33:00.007+11:00

I thought The Road to Guantanamo is a beautifully crafted movie, though I must say that beautiful is perhaps not the right word to choose when referring to the story. This is a movie based on a true event that chronicles the journey of a group of young British Pakistanis from their home in Britain to Pakistan and Afghanistan, where a series of unfortunate events led them to be mistaken as terrorists and brought them to the world-infamous Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. I particularly like the part where they have brief, silent flashbacks, you know, the kind of thought the prisoners have when they were physically numb and tortured and all they could do was think about the good old times they used to have.

Putting reviews on the movie aside, I must admit that I did not have any clear idea about the Guantanamo Bay apart from the news updates I read in the newspaper. Neither do I know much about the condition in Afghanistan, save for the few hazy pictures I gathered from watching The Kite Runner. Please pardon my ignorance, but I wish to put that behind me now.

Donald Rumsfeld was shown as saying at one point in the movie that the treatment in Guantanamo is ‘proper and there is no doubt in his mind that it is humane and appropriate’. Having now watched this movie, I wish that he could just experience the treatment for a day himself, and let the world see if he can come back and still stick to that earlier belief of his.

As much as I am opposed to the brutal handling of the prisoners, I am still able to understand the paranoia faced by the US that leads them to take stern action in the fight against terrorism, especially in the wake of the 9/11 attack. They simply could not take the danger posed for granted, and for that reason it is pretty understandable that they did not want to easily believe in the assertion made by the prisoners. But what I do not understand, is the method of torment they exercised on them, as well as the wild, false accusations being put.

“These people are murderers, they don’t share the values that we share.”

- George W. Bush, with his usual silly face while saying this.

So yeah, those people are possibly murderers, but that does not give you any right to beat them up close to death unless and until they are proven so, does it? That would make you murderers too. And while we are at it, Mr. President, when you say your values, what exactly are you referring to? Is it the integration of that 'f' word in each sentence that your soldiers utter? Or perhaps the prohibition of prayers for Muslim detainees, an act that does not pose any danger to you anyway? Or the act of letting the naked prisoners with their head all covered being chased after by your barking dogs? Are these the values that your fellow citizens uphold so highly, Sir? Well, I am pretty sure that you would not want to admit that. After all, I suppose that your sheer arrogance in admitting your mistake is also one the values that you treasure, as pictured clearly in this movie.

I wish that George W. Bush had watched this movie. I wish that Barack Obama would watch it too, before he resumes office. I wish he had come down to Guantanamo himself to watch the arrogance and inhumane behaviour of his so-called soldiers, and try to listen to the plight of the prisoners. I wish that all the American parents whose sons are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, who have been supporting the wars and atrocities had watched this movie and fell down to their knees upon encountering the reality. I wish that every sane human being can find some time to watch this movie, to see and judge for themselves the sheer cruelty of our own species. Then maybe we could find some ways to stop it. I wish I had watched it earlier, and passed the story to you.

Hello Melbourne

2008-11-24T09:32:00.005+11:00

I am currently writing from Melbourne using a good friend's laptop, after spending a few days in Adelaide. For those of you who have been ardent followers of my writings, you would notice that I had already wrote something about this city sometime last year during my first visit. It was a short visit though, pretty much those words I had written were based on first impressions. This time I will be here for a longer period, and I hope to enjoy my stay to the max. Perhaps a drawback is that the weather has not been too kind here; it is supposed to be summer, but so far not a second I could go outdoor without having to don my jumper for fear of being eaten by the coldness of the atmopshere.

On another note, I have started reading two new books in the space of two days since arriving here in Melbourne. They are Say it Like Obama: The Power of Speaking with Purpose and Vision by Shel Leanne and Dr. Mahathir's Selected Letters to World Leaders. Both are impressive in their own ways, definitely the kind I was looking forward to having not read any good book since The Road to Mecca a few months back. I do not plan to bring both books back to Sydney with me since they are owned by my friend-cum-host, so the idea is to finish both of them before I get back this Thursday. We will see if I can do that.

Friend Mibo has started his own blogging journey, and that should make the headline of the week! Well, actually he has been writing for quite a long time, but only recently he decided to move to Blogspot. His witty style and French influence are definitely worth checking out.

The Nut Graph

2008-11-15T23:25:00.009+11:00

If you have got nothing better to do, go check out The Nut Graph.

I have not got the chance to really look into it, but from the few articles that I got a glimpse on I would say that they wrote some pretty good stuffs. The lack of comments for their articles led me to make an assumption that their brand name has not quite reached a wide set of audience yet, which in a way is a good thing since that will ensure that only writings of top quality are published in the hope to attract publicity. I just hope that this will remain so in the long haul and they will not grow to become just another public space to voice out childish sentiments, or a political website that leans heavily on partisanship like so many of their companions. I, for one, will be watching.

Watching History

2008-11-06T09:40:00.008+11:00

Congratulations, man. The people have come a long way, thanks to you. You give them hope, you make them believe.

Now it is time for you to walk the talk. I am looking forward to your leadership in the White House.

Sarapan Pagi

2008-11-05T11:14:00.005+11:00

Sarapan pagi, menu cucur ikan bilis Adabi dan teh tarik segera. Teh tarik ini datangnya dari Jelapang, Ipoh, tapi aku kurang pasti jenamanya. Ya lah, dulu kedai mamak di depan mata, jenama segera sebegini bukan pilihan pertama.

Lepas ini iklan Adabi disiarkan di kaca TV, atau kau memandu melepasi Jelapang, jangan pandang sebelah mata. Masing-masing kini sudah membina tapak di pasaran antarabangsa. Mungkin it’s just a matter of time sebelum Thomas Friedman memilih jenama Adabi pula untuk dibincangkan dalam buku seterusnya, The World is Flat II? Mungkin jika mereka di Jelapang mengambil langkah lebih awal, perbincangan utama dalam The World is Flat bukan berkisarkan Infosys di Bangalore tetapi Teh Tarik Jelapang di Australia? Kau jangan memperlekehkan mak cik yang jual pisang goreng di tepi jalan itu, mana tahu satu hari nanti pisang gorengnya pula dibawa merentas lautan ke pasaran luar? Tak semena-mena dia jadi kaya-raya, kau yang selama ini menjadi pelanggan setia duduk ternganga. Pasang impian setinggi langit, sekurang-kurangnya bila berjalan nampak ke mana arahnya. Berjalan ke depan, bukan ke belakang.

Dunia semakin mengecil (atau flat, mengikut istilah Friedman), kehidupan pula bertambah mudah. Tak bermakna kita boleh ambil mudah, kerja keras perlu terus.

Terima kasih Adabi dan teh tarik segera atas pengajaranmu. Cucur ikan bilis sudah habis. Esok mungkin beli yang baru.

The Economist & Barack Obama

2008-11-04T23:49:00.011+11:00

The Economist this week issues an article that pretty much sums up key things you need to know about Barack Obama and John McCain as both men are making last-ditch efforts heading up to the US Presidential Election. Only, the article appears to be directly endorsing Barack Obama as the man who “deserves the presidency”. Wait a second, that does not sound quite right for a newsmagazine that aims “to take part in a severe contest between intelligence, which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress”, does it? Now, I may not be an expert in passing any judgment but if there is one thing I can be sure about, it is that The Economist as a reputable agent of democracy does not have any capacity to state clearly its preference of a person over the other, much less when the matter being discussed concerns the fate of a country. I can still understand if this is an op-ed article - you have every right to voice out your personal opinion even though a newsmagazine of this scale is not quite the ideal place for that - but the thing is this is not. I am talking about a main article, with the endorsement made clear in the opening sentence and the name of the newsmagazine referred to as the author.

Before I go any further, let me make myself clear that I have nothing against Obama. In fact, I personally feel that he will make a more reliable president as opposed to McCain, whose choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate still fills me with bafflement (this is a personal blog, you cannot say that I am not allowed to do this).

Let me go back to The Economist. Now, I did not quite have the time to read through all the comments of the article that total up to more than a thousand, but from the quick look I did manage to find one that pretty much says it all. This comment, by someone named Mercy Vetsel, starts with his disappointment over the sloppy, bias article being laid clear, before it explores the dark sides of both candidates that The Economist failed to capture. The last point of his comment caught my attention:

“So at this critical juncture, with one party controlling the Congress and a perfect storm of ugly populist policies darkening the horizon, what does The Economist, the 165 year bastion of freedom do?

You follow the crowd and throw the in with the man who represents everything that you oppose. All of the lessons of economics which you express with increasingly tepid enthusiasm in the pages of your magazine are quickly discarded for the crowd favourite and a giant smile that promises “I am whatever it is you are looking for”. I suppose freedom is a great thing unless it makes you unpopular.”

Pretty much he concludes that The Economist succumbs to public preference to Obama, which it should not be doing.

Some other comments also point out several glaring factual errors in the article, something that I do not have the knowledge to comment about. However, I did notice that quite a number of respondents were pretty much caught up with emotions and you can see that key issues have a lot to do with your own principle and perspective which make you neither wrong nor right. For these reasons, I would not say that their stand would necessarily disprove the notion brought by the article. Still, it is best if The Economist can stick to facts and avoid riling up the crowds, or offer valid arguments while fending off the temptation to jump into anyone’s side.

Condolences to Kandaq

2008-10-29T15:37:00.003+11:00

I am not the closest person to Kandaq, though we did share countless good moments together in our five years together back in school. We were classmates in all those five years, and for two years we worked together in the student council. For these reasons, pretty much I can say that I know him pretty well, and despite going separate ways after school we are still in close touch until now. So when I got the news of his father’s sudden demise a moment ago, my heart sank.

Here’s wishing for your father’s soul to be laid to rest in peace, and I pray that Allah bless his soul and place it amongst the righteous and pious. I also hope that you, Kandaq, remain strong as you always are and take this not as an excuse to give up in life but rather as another trying challenge from Him that you need to live with, for God only put to test those whom He loves. For the rest of us, this is another reminder that life is just a brief candle, that every second of it ought to be valued and lived to perfection.

Al-Fatihah..

On Little Things

2008-10-23T23:56:00.009+11:00

A friend asked our lecturer during class last week about the marks breakdown for the course we are doing. In case any of you is not familiar with this, here is a quick guide; every course that we are doing in each session consists of different kind of assessments and exams, each of which offers different marks. These marks will eventually be totalled up to determine how we perform in the course. The problem is, we are not exactly sure how these marks are distributed for this course that we are doing since our lecturer just randomly handed us assignments without first making it clear how many of those assignments there would be for the duration of the course, and how much are they worth individually. The lecturer replied to the question by saying that he actually had not set it up yet, and he would try to come out with it this week.

So when class started this week, the first thing that my friend did was ask the lecturer again if he has sorted the problem out. You would notice the sense of urgency in my friend’s voice had you been in the class. In fact, everyone in the class was eager to get the response from our lecturer, hoping to clear things up before we all head to our final exam next week.

You see, I have nothing against everyone in the class for wanting so desperately to know this marks breakdown. I myself find it pleasing knowing what fraction will the final exam that I am going to sit for bring to my total marks. Nevertheless, I honestly do not see where the importance of this breakdown lies in, and I figure I would still be perfectly fine even if I am deprived of the knowledge of it. So you know that this short assignment is worth five percent, that lab report will give you 20 percent while your final exam will carry 40 percent. What does it tell you? Will you put in less effort in getting that short assignment done since it is worth a little? Will you then work harder on the lab report, and double that effort for the final exam? I do not know about you, but the way I see it, no matter how little the importance of a task is to you, you ought to strive hard and give your best shot at completing it. The fact that something is worth merely five percent out of the total hundred does not make it any less significant does it? When it is worth five percent, make every effort to grab that full five percent offered the same way you make the effort to get forty out of forty for the next task. Ignoring that little five percent would not get you to a total mark of a hundred no matter how hard you focus on the next ninety five. If you are not willing to work hard enough to earn a dollar, how then would you expect to get a thousand? Little things do count. The problem with our world today is too many of these little things are taken for granted. Many of them require little effort to do but have the potential to bring a great impact to life. If everyone starts to realize about this and strive to get that little five percent, what a different place we can turn our world into.

Going back to what I said earlier, of course some amongst us want to know about this breakdown simply because that allows them to work out early on the certain minimum marks they will need to get for the remaining assessments to ensure that they stay above a certain qualification level, or to avoid failure. In this case, I can accept that this breakdown plays an important role. Still, let us try not to underestimate the value of that short assignment, and give our best at getting that little five percent.

This Pain Ends Here

2008-10-20T00:07:00.007+11:00

Love drives you crazy. One moment you get separated from each other, already your heart grows restless. Five months? Oh God, I could never I imagine I would survive such a period. And now the waiting is over, the pain ends here.

I jumped joyfully when we were finally reunited, smile carved on my face. I spent night after night with you, and I plan to do so for as long as you are here.

When we were first separated, I thought well that is alright, I will garner strength from here. But what I did not realize was that the longing was getting larger too, gaining pace to keep up with the strength I gathered. One day I reached a point where longing takes over, all I did every day was looking for any news from you, any updates that could at least take off some burden from this heart. I went through old videos, hoping to hear your voice again, and at night I could not sleep thinking of when could I ever meet you again. When I did fall asleep, I dreamt of you.

Sometimes when I missed you, I tried talking to few people about how great you are, how they should try to get to know you. What I got was never a keen response, but that has never let me down. It is perfectly fine that I am the sole admirer of you, even though at times I wondered if things would be better if I could find someone else to talk to about you.

I know we were not supposed to be separated for this long, I apologize for that. But I wish to let you know that I always worked hard to make a meeting between us a possibility. At times, we just need to admit that fate acts brutally towards human being. Anyway, now that we have met, I hope that you can stay here a bit longer and I also hope that the next chance meeting you will not be too far away.

Thank God for the cheap DVD box set of The West Wing Season 4. I have been looking for you everywhere, finally I found you.

Where Help Comes From

2008-10-14T00:35:00.004+11:00

I was compiling the reference list for my group assignment when I had trouble finding the publication place of a book that we referenced from. We accessed the book online, and somehow they did not put up the page that bears all the publication details so I could not possibly get that information that I wanted. I tried to look up Amazon and some other online booksellers to no avail; they actually do have all the information I needed about the book except for the publication place. Then I refined my search on Google, and after a few tries I spotted an unfamiliar, strange-looking result high on the list. I decided to try my luck by clicking on that search result, and voila! Publication: Florida. Now I should be able to complete my reference list. But wait, guess what website was that?

Sultan Abdul Samad Library, Universiti Putra Malaysia.

Oh wow. I guess you can say that in times of adversity, help comes from someplace you least expected.

Crystal Mosque

2008-10-09T23:56:00.008+11:00

Crystal Mosque, Terengganu's latest architectural hallmark. I seized the chance to visit this landmark on my recent visit to Kuala Terengganu. What was pleasing was the fact that it is located not far from the place where I grew up.

Taking aside the controversies and allegations surrounding the construction of this mosque, I would definitely say that it is an architectural marvel. Obviously not of the same rank of Taj Mahal and its like, but it still is a delightful sight to the eyes. Too bad I did not have the chance to also visit the Islamic Civilisation Park which was located in the same area. From a short glimpse from outside the gate, it seemed to be equally as impressive.

If you do happen to plan for a visit to Kuala Terengganu, make sure you mark this as one of your pit stops. On another note, I hope the mosque’s coming into being and the park surrounding it will only propel further development in the nearby area. Other than this new landmark, the city and its surrounding areas did not seem to change much compared to the time when my family and I lived there more than ten years ago.

An Act of Kindness

2008-10-07T23:37:00.002+11:00

I was sitting on a bench right outside Terminal 2, Coolangatta Airport, Gold Coast on Sunday night while contemplating on what to do for the next eight hours or so before my flight to Sydney was scheduled to jet off, when suddenly a car stopped not far from me. A Chinese lady who sat in the front seat of the car lowered her car window and asked if I happened to need a lift to Brisbane. Stunned by the car’s sudden appearance and her friendliness, I spent the next two or three seconds weighing up my options before I responded, well, no thanks. It was certainly an attractive idea to call up a friend in Brisbane at that instance to tell that I was going to spend the night at his place rather than settling at that uncomfortable bench while enduring the chilly night by my own, but come to think that Brisbane is one hour’s away, and the fact that I still had to come back to that airport for my early morning’s flight the next day, I conceived that my decision was justifiable. But anyway, that was a side note; the main story here is certainly the act of kindness of that lady and yes, her partner in the car. Wherever you guys are, I would like to thank you for your kind offer. Too bad I could not honour your kindness by accepting it, and perhaps getting to know the two of you better. Thanks again.

Now, who says that our world today is extinct of good people?

A Friend's Father's Death

2008-09-18T22:45:00.007+10:00

June 7th, 2008. Friend Izmel sent me an email telling me about his father being diagnosed by cancer. By the time the truth dawned upon everyone in the family, the cancer had already spread to the fourth level. Naturally the sudden news came as a shock to me, but gradually I gathered my composure and wrote him a reply, which contained words of encouragement more or less. Living thousands of miles away, I figured that that was the only thing I could do. He asked me not to talk to anyone about it, something that I did not agree with but I adhered to out of respect for him. Izmel also gave me his current mobile number, and welcomed me to Ipoh to visit his father if I ever get back to Malaysia.

June 15, 2008. Another email from Izmel, updates on his ailing father. He had been hospitalized in Ipoh, waiting to undergo chemotherapy. I must confess that I did not know much about this treatment, but I did know from stories I gathered from books and people that it was not an easy treatment at all. Not intending to cause any uneasiness on his side, I decided to forgo that topic in my reply and reminded Izmel to remain patient, and help his father as much as he can. Izmel never forgot to ask how I was doing and if I did well in my studies.

August 13, 2008. We exchanged a few more emails between now and then, but this was the last time I heard from him. No thanks to my busy schedule, it was always him who made the effort to start with a new email after we were both quiet for some time, and all I did was wait for that and replied. This time around, he told me that his father’s condition was getting worse. He could not stop thinking about him, and at times the thought of leaving his studies behind to look after him came across his mind. I tried to imagine the difficulty he was facing but I could not. As usual, I offered him some words of advice and urged him to remain upbeat despite the challenge. One thing that I was not sure about though was whether I myself was feeling upbeat, having listened to the story first-hand from him. Before he ended his writing, he thanked me for my willingness to listen to his story.

At times I tried to think of any other ways to help, words through email did not seem to have the power to reach much. Giving him a ring occasionally may not be a bad idea at all I thought, and perhaps I could arrange for a real visit to Ipoh when I get back. However, rather than trying to get the ideas materialized, I kept delaying any action to the point that at times I totally forgot about them. When it is not our problem, it is easy to let loose of the grip and stay calm. Others are struggling with their own life but we keep our eyes closed, we choose not to be aware of the surroundings. To say we are at fault does not sound quite right since it is not our responsibility in the first place, but when we are dealing with feelings of people, being ignorant is certainly not an option. Too bad I realized that when it was too late.

September 14, 2008. This was last Saturday. I did my routine as usual right after waking up, which was checking emails and updates from friends. Someone passed around the terrible news. Izmel’s father had lost his battle with cancer and passed away on Friday.

This post is not in any way intended to look back at the life of Izmel’s father, or the relationship I had with Izmel. It is merely a personal reflection of things that could and should be done, and also a reminder for the future.

I have yet to talk to Izmel until now. This time, my excuse is maybe he needs some time to recover before he can start to talk to people. I hope that I will not delay my action any longer, and I hope Izmel is doing fine. I pray that your father’s soul will forever be blessed, and may Allah place him amongst the pious.

Some Quick Laughs

2008-09-12T11:06:00.006+10:00

A few funny incidents took place in class this week. In the first incident, my drilling professor was trying to explain the venue distribution for our mid-term exam that is going to be held next week when he made the statement;

“For postgraduate students, some of you will take the exam in the computer room of the School of Petroleum Engineering where there are computers, while the rest will go to the computer room where there are no computers."

Why would they want to name it computer room in the first place when it has no computers?

My 70-plus year old lecturer from another subject gave us an assignment last week, and two of my classmates were arguing on when is that assignment due. The first one was pretty confident that we are supposed to hand it in this week, while the second one was equally defiant in her belief that it will be due next week, going as far as to say that she even talked to that lecturer in person before to confirm on that. Too afraid that she might be wrong, and maybe fretting at the thought that she has not even started the assignment, that second classmate started to mumble;

“Hish I don’t like this situation, I don’t like him (our lecturer). He’s always like this you know. He’s... he’s…”

Noting that she struggled to find the right adjective, I tried to suggest ‘undecided’, or ‘unpredictable’ to her, but just when I was about to do that another classmate who sat close by chipped in, nonchalantly;

“…old”

One of the questions asked in our Petrophysics mid-term exam yesterday goes something like this:

“Which of the hydrocarbon reservoir described below will make the Petroleum Engineers happiest?”

Can exam questions be any more informal than that? Anyway, I would have answered ‘end of each month when they get their paycheck’ if not for the hydrocarbon reservoir and the fact that it was an objective question.

In the last incident, noticing that some of us have yet to do the submission of our assignments, my lecturer uttered these words;

“Well, deadline is a deadline. You’ll be dead if you don’t submit this work by the deadline.”

Faces of Defeat

2008-09-09T22:13:00.004+10:00

Remember not a long while back I wrote something about the problem with being number two? Well as if my thought had been sensed, TIME magazine in their website produces a new photo essay entitled 'Second Place: Faces of Defeat' in conjunction with the future release of a new pictorial book by Sandy Nicholson of almost the same title.

Here is how they have got to say about this exciting new book:

"2nd captures contestants and competitors following the announcement that they have not won first prize. This gently ironic and at times humorous work explores the moments after personal hopes have been dashed. The project is about expectation and failure in the world of modern competitions. Loss and disappointment are the norm for a majority of competitors, even if the discrepancy between first and second place is minute.

All the subjects were photographed moments after they had stepped down from the podium or immediately following announcement of their standings."

I am no big fan of pictorial books, plus judging by the few photos released by TIME, I must say that I am a bit dissapointed since the pain of losing was not really demonstrated by the subjects in the photos. Still, it would be nice to have this as a personal collection.

Ahlan ya Ramadan!

2008-09-01T08:20:00.007+10:00

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) addressed his companions on the last day of Sha`ban, saying, "Oh people! A great month has come over you; a blessed month; a month in which is a night better than a thousand months; month in which Allah has made it compulsory upon you to fast by day, and voluntary to pray by night. Whoever draws nearer (to Allah) by performing any of the (optional) good deeds in (this month) shall receive the same reward as performing an obligatory deed at any other time, and whoever discharges an obligatory deed in (this month) shall receive the reward of performing seventy obligations at any other time. It is the month of patience, and the reward of patience is Heaven. It is the month of charity, and a month in which a believer's sustenance is increased. Whoever gives food to a fasting person to break his fast, shall have his sins forgiven, and he will be saved from the Fire of Hell, and he shall have the same reward as the fasting person, without his reward being diminished at all." [Narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah]

Here's wishing all of us to have a blessed and wonderful Ramadan. Let us all strive to become better persons starting from this holy month.

MGM 2008: A Review

2008-08-29T00:29:00.015+10:00

A grand annual stage play planned and organized by Malaysian students in Sydney, Malam Gema Merdeka, was held last Saturday in conjunction with the upcoming National Day. I was not part the of the production team, merely a staunch audience. It was a good performance overall, kudos to the team that had made it possible.

Here are just some quick personal reviews from me from the seat of an audience.

It was nice seeing a quick showing of Fahmi Reza’s 10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka during the show. I had always been pessimistic that people my age would not be interested in this kind of work, that most of them might not even have heard of this stunning local documentary. I am glad that I was proven wrong. I do not know whose idea was that to include a part of the documentary during the play, but if any of you who are reading this happen to know this person I am referring to, please tell him or her that the inclusion of the documentary had made my day, and that I say thank you.

Little things do paint a stain to a beautifully-crafted picture, and often they piss me off and I am sure sometimes they do that to you too. I do not know whether this feeling stems out from my over-patriotic sentiment, but it pissed me off to see a fellow countryman dropping the country’s flag onto the floor during one of the scene of the play, the same way it pissed me off at seeing people making a mockery of the national anthem in another event a few months back. I know that you were merely acting, but you could have easily got rid of that action and still make the whole play looks efficient. You can say that it is something insignificant, you never intended to do it anyway, but I cannot imagine where do you hold the nation’s pride when you dare putting the nation’s flag on the same level of your feet and still call the action insignificant. The whole country went mad when the picture of someone burning the nation’s flag went around in the months leading up to last March’s General Election, did it ever strike you that such action of yours could also trigger a wave of anger amongst the audience, albeit perhaps miniscule in comparison? Call me of being overly sensitive, but while you are doing that you might want to also have a look at the mirror and see where you stand. What I am asking from you is simple; show a little more respect to my country, our country.

On another note, I overheard many of those who had been involved directly with the production saying how relieved they were now that the whole thing has ended. They should feel that way, given the hard works they had put in to make it a success, weekends they sacrificed for practice, and their time, money that could have been spent somewhere else. I am not quite sure myself how to put this, but I think that putting things entirely at a halt seems to be a mistake, since what lies ahead is a challenge of a greater magnitude in comparison with the efforts to stage the production itself. As cliché as it might sound, the challenge is to not just let the lessons die together with the play, that is to gather as many lessons as we can, instil the values in ourselves so hopefully we can wake up tomorrow a better person than before we were involved with the play. We jump in joy in celebration of our nation’s independence come 31st of August every year, but for what reasons do we celebrate, have we ever given that a thought? In the play, Joe, the main character reflected back on his past, the country’s past, and try to look for rooms in which he could make amends. I personally saw that the aim was good, that is to remind people that history is there for us to learn from. However, the thing about acting and play is that lessons that were meant to be imparted to everyone could easily, immediately fade away as soon as the stage light is switched off. For stage actors, excitements and relief quickly take over once it all ends, while for audience, well, they could be either too upset or too awed by on-stage movements and actions that the thought of analyzing the message brought across never passes through their mind. And so we all resume with our cycle of life on the next day back to square one, having missed the glorious chance to grab the lesson that was well-laid in front of our bare eyes.

Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan everyone. Wait, what Merdeka? Tunku Abdul Rahman never endorsed 31st of August as an Independence Day, but rather a National Day. Malaysia was born on 16 September 1963, not 31 August 1957.

Didn't Mean to Hurt You Morrie.

2008-08-24T23:53:00.006+10:00

I remember reading somewhere a few years back that in the ancient Olympics, winners would be glorified, while losers would have no place in history. Winners, in this sense, are only those getting the first place. There were no second or third places back then, no silver or bronze medal. You either win it all, or you would be considered as a loser, even if you were edged by the slimmest of margin by the overall winner. The losers, when the reality that they had lost in the event they took part in dawned upon them, would immediately leave and hide, too shameful to face people. While the winners got all the accolades and prestige, losers would be looked down by the society, sometimes even their existences were perished from memories. Some of these losers went as far as committing suicide for shame of losing. This is certainly way different from the way we perceive anything in life these days, sports in particular.

For some inexplicable reasons, somehow I find myself agreeing with this one-winner idea. There was this strange feeling in me when seeing athletes celebrating after finishing in the second or third spots in the Olympics. I know you have worked so hard to get this far, but hey, there was someone else crossing the finish line right before you, what on earth could be your cause for celebration? Should not you be in tears, feeling sorry for yourself? Didn’t you feel the pain, trying to come to terms with the thought of being only a second-best? My only guess is that you were satisfied with your efforts, that second or third-place finish is just fine for you. I am sorry, but I think such thought is just pathetic.

Some say that one’s best effort sometimes just is not enough for a first-place, that at least one can be proud at the fact that one has tried one’s best. The winner, they say, is just blessed with extra God-given strength to overcome any rivals that dare to give a challenge, you simply cannot do anything to change that. I tried to play around this idea inside my head honestly, but it just does not make sense to me. How could you say that you have pour in your best effort and still lose? For me, when you lose, it is simply because you did not try hard enough.

Sorry Morrie Schwartz, I tried to agree with you. But I just could not stop thinking that there is something severely wrong with being number two.

Ricky Rubio

2008-08-14T20:05:00.013+10:00

Ricky Rubio, a basketball prodigy. While peers his age were attending high school, he was already strutting his stuff in the Spanish ACB League. While at the age of 17, I was busy preparing for my SPM examinations, 17-year-old Ricky is busy trying to lead the Spanish basketball team to Beijing Olympics glory. While a triple-double is always considered a rare feat in basketball, Ricky made it all look easy; in FIBA Europe Under-16 Championship, he had two triple-doubles and one quadruple-double, including a 51 points, 24 rebounds, 12 assists and 7 steals in the final game that all but assured his team a victory.

"I think he's a freak of nature — being so young and being so skilled and also so cool all the time. You can see that he knows what he's doing. He's not playing out there with pros based only on his talents. He knows the game and he can only improve. I think he'll be a great player. It all depends on him, but I personally think he's going to be great."
- Pepe Sanchez, Unicaja Malaga

I will keep my eyes on you from now on kid. Come to NBA soon so I can get to see a lot more of your actions.

And so my love affairs with the Spanish continue; Ricky Rubio now joins the ranks of Fernando Torres, Pau Gasol, Rafael Nadal and Fernando Alonso as my sporting heroes.

Revisiting an Eight-year-old Lesson

2008-08-12T19:23:00.007+10:00

In the final few months leading up to the UPSR examination when I was in Standard 6 in 2000, we had this motivational camp organized by the school aimed at preparing the students mentally (looking back, what much can you do to improve the mental state of 12-year-old kids anyway). I remember that the camp was held for a few days at a rural area somewhere not too far from Klang. The idea of going to the camp was kind of exciting at first, since it was probably the first time that I got the chance to stay away from home on my own for more than two, three days.

They may call it a motivational camp, but to me most of the time it was more like a torture for all of us. The chief facilitator who was assigned to keep his eyes on us for the whole period of the camp in particular was ruthless; it was only moments after we stepped off the bus when he warned that we may not be getting our meals if we do not show good behaviour during the camp. We were 12-year-old kids who naturally looked forward to fun playing times so such reception of course came as a shock for some of us.

Anyway, on the first day we were introduced to the rules and regulations that needed to be adhered to as participants of the camp. One of the most important rules was the use of a ‘money’ system in the camp, whereby pretty much every single meal, facility and other needs did not come free; you would need to pay certain amount of money to get the luxury of having them. The ‘money’ in this sense was of course not the real one, but you get the idea. The best part was the way ‘money’ could be earned; pretty much you would have to offer yourselves as slaves to the facilitators. For instance, helping to clean up their food tray after meal sessions earned you RM30, while polishing their shoes gave you RM50. There were various other chores you could do which I cannot remember much, but the rate of pay would be determined by that particular facilitator you worked with. If my memory serves me right, the winning group of various activities carried out could also gain some amount of money. Now that might sound easy to most of you, but I have not come to the part where we learnt about how much money we had to fork out for each different need. For a start, we were told that the dormitory we lived in would cost us somewhere around RM1000 per night as a group, while each individual meal is about RM10. The next day the chief facilitator would come to us and say the ‘economy’ has risen overnight, and for this reason our dormitory rent was doubled to RM2000 per night. This trend continued to change for worse daily.

The result? You saw timid kids trying to work their way up to make some money, in the process gaining bravery. The 12-year-old minds of us who had no idea or appreciation whatsoever about the value of money in real world before began to realize that life was not too good after all when we are all tied up financially. No one would have dared to get close to the chief facilitator before the concept was introduced, but once it kicked off you would see him being swarmed every moment by the brave ones amongst us, each wondering if there was anything they could do to help him (actually to get money of course). I myself was not too comfortable at the thought of approaching adults who were strangers to me, but out of desperation such action became easy. Along the way confidence was gained, and gone were moments when we prefer hiding in our own shells rather than trying to reach out to the outside world and other individuals. We also learnt that selfish behaviour was not welcome when you had responsibilities to a particular group, such as when paying our dormitory rent whereby each of us had to contribute. Despite the hardships that we had to endure, we soon learnt what the real message meant to be conveyed was; that life in real world is certainly not easy.

For some of us, the lesson was quickly forgotten once the camp ended. But somehow it stuck with me even years afterwards and perhaps it is not too much to say that it helps to define me as a person. Though this might not sound possible, I wish I can get a chance to meet the chief facilitator personally sometime in the future to thank him for the seed he planted in me eight years ago during that memorable motivational camp.

Emas Jadi Igauan

2008-08-09T01:43:00.004+10:00

Kita bangga dengan menara berkembar tertinggi di dunia, lapangan terbang antarabangsa berjuta-juta mahalnya, Litar Sepang dan sebagainya. Kita bangga ada di kalangan kita sudah berjaya ke puncak gunung Everest, jejakkan kaki di North Pole, tak lupa juga yang telah mampu menjengah ke angkasa.

Aku kata? Ahh itu semua bukan pengukur keupayaan sesebuah negara. Untuk mencapai kesemuanya, yang perlu cuma wang ringgit yang berlebihan, dan juga idea.

Ekonomi kukuh kononnya, rakyat berbilang bangsa tinggal selesa damai sebumbung, semuanya membuatkan kita senyum bangga.

Belum cukup. Emas Olimpik perlu digapai, barulah hebat namanya. Barulah boleh berbangga.

Selamat maju jaya. Malaysia Boleh.

MSLS 2008

2008-07-31T19:29:00.010+10:00

Thanks to Afifah for enlightening me on this matter. Sadly though, it also turns out to be a cause of envy for me. Why do they have to do this at this time, when I am thousands of miles away? Also, why can't we students in Australia hold a summit of similar kind?

On another note, it is always refreshing to know that something like this is going on, amidst the talk about us teenagers being a ignorant, hopeless bunch. The list of speakers looks impressive; my personal favourite has to be Karim Raslan.

I urge my friends in Malaysia, do take part in this event if you have the chance to.

A Wise Old Owl

2008-07-25T11:28:00.004+10:00

A wise old owl lived in an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke,
The less he spoke, the more he heard,
Why aren't we all like that old bird?

- John D. Rockefeller

Erin Gruwell & Freedom Writers

2008-07-24T00:55:00.007+10:00

Remember back when we were in school, how we wished to get great, inspirational teachers? We prayed that they did not only put their focus on squeezing every bit of input from textbooks into our brains, but also made the efforts to set our scope beyond that? Well, no disrespect to teachers, but the truth is such measure is not commonly found in them. To say that they are at fault would not do them any justice; after all, their job is merely to educate students, and by that we mean merely helping them to get good grades, and eventually finish school.

Enter Erin Gruwell, giving a whole new definition to the teaching profession. She is the pioneer, the lady responsible for bringing Freedom Writers together, a group of students from a high school in Long Beach, California. Now, this was during the time when the school had just been racially integrated, so you can pretty much imagine the hostile environment faced by students and teachers. Having just graduated from college when she stepped into the school ground as a teacher, naturally things did not come easy for her at first. Somehow she managed to develop some unusual teaching methods, in the process got to understand her students of mixed races better and more importantly brought them close together to a point unimaginable in such a tense environment. Later, these students who earlier were not even sure if they could survive the next day grew up to become successful men and women, all thanks to Erin Gruwell. Every twist of events is well-laid in the movie by the title Freedom Writers itself, so if you are interested in the entire cause brought forward by this teacher perhaps you might want to head down to a nearby store and look for the DVD.

There have been many other Hollywood movies that had been produced that tried to depict this racial confrontation when it was in its height. Some, like Remember the Titans and Glory Road, brought forth sports as the common trait. While that might appear to some as cliché, I would consider that they were pretty successful in getting the message across and attracting positive response from the audience. A classroom situation depicted in Freedom Writers however is a pretty unusual theme, and for this reason I found the scenes represented in the film as refreshing.

The best part here is that the story does not just end with the movie. Freedom Writers themselves are for real, and this movie in fact is based on their true life accounts. Furthermore, there is even a foundation established by these Freedom Writers, presided by Erin Gruwell herself that aims at reforming the education by encouraging teaching methods that was first developed by her.

I am not exactly sure whether I am impressed solely by the movie, or by the whole cause brought by Erin Gruwell and her Freedom Writers. However, one thing that I am certain of is that I am grateful that the world has a teacher like Erin Gruwell.

Warisan

2008-07-22T11:05:00.005+10:00

Anak kecil main api,
Terbakar hatinya yang sepi

When I was in lower forms in koleq, we used to sing this song every week. We would line up outside classrooms after night prep, and donning our Full Malay attire, we would fill the night air with echoes of the song with pride. That was one of my favourite parts of my life back then, perhaps the moment I felt most spirited. I would wait patiently every week for Friday night to come just to savour the chance to sing the song. I was not pretty sure if my feeling was shared by my other 100-odd brethrens, I guess I could not care less at the moment. However it is a pretty long song; I would say that probably half of us did not quite memorize the lyrics. The other half, despite showing such vigour when singing it, perhaps could not let the thought of heading to dining hall quickly off their mind, for the supper were to be served right after the night prep. We were naive, 13-year-old kids, who can blame us? It was still a beautiful moment nevertheless, one that is surely able to capture any heart that sees it.

We still sang that song when were in Form 3, albeit not as frequent as we did in the first two years we were in koleq. If my memory serves me right, the last time we sang it as one, united batch, was on the night before our first PMR papers. We even had candles and all while singing it, making the 10-minute scene all too dramatic.

I think it is fair to say that I cherish this song more than Motherrussia, our own traditional batch anthem. While Motherrussia has its own amazing story and is also capable of arousing our spirit at any time, to me having the chance to sing it, claiming ownership of the anthem is more like a pure coincidence, something like a gift. Warisan, on the other hand, is an embodiment of responsibility, one that you cannot escape from.

I guess things change as we grow up, our life focus shifts direction. Tales of broken promises, dreams not realized are quickly forgotten as we make our stride forward. If only we can sit back, and try to recall the moment we sang Warisan proudly when we were kids, each line, what it means to all of us, I guess already we are a better person than yesterday.

Kita sudah tiada masa,
Bangunlah dengan gagah perkasa

Motionless Water, Moving Water

2008-07-20T22:50:00.005+10:00

A wonderful passage from The Road to Mecca;

Asad once asked an old Bedouin about why he moved from one place to another and not settle in one area, firm some land, and rest in peace. To this the Bedouin replied, “If water stands motionless in pools, it becomes stale, muddy and foul; only when it moves and flows does it remain clear...”

On Cycling

2008-07-17T00:48:00.012+10:00

I am an ardent sports fan. Even though the only sport that I play is basketball, I enjoy watching almost every other sport, be it live in a stadium or on TV. I followed live football, hockey, and Olympics since I was a little kid, before I started to develop interest in tennis, rugby and Formula 1 during the later stage of my 20-year-old life. One of the reasons for this penchant is, well, like most other men, it just occurs to you naturally for no real reason. Another reason, perhaps more convincing is I see that sports is so closely linked to life, that every action you put on the floor in any sporting event is a perfect metaphor of how you lead your actual life. You also learn so much through sports; wins and losses, teamwork, discipline, hard work, etc.

Anyway, the real reason for this entry is that not so long ago another sport managed to catch my attention, one that I never thought I would be interested in; cycling. Okay, don’t give me that look. The thing is, I read Lance Armstrong autobiography, It’s Not About the Bike not so long ago, and it was through that book that my interest in cycling started to germinate. It was really a good book, and I would highly recommend it to anyone. The story he has to tell not only resembles the life of him as a sportsman, but rather as a person as a whole, battling cancer that almost robbed his life. In any case, being a seven-time winner of Le Tour de France, the world’s largest cycle race, he could not avoid telling something about cycling could he? And you reader cannot avoid but to read it, and in my case, like it. You see, I used to have the same idea as most of you when the word cycling springs up to mind; boring when you take it from a spectator’s point of view, and arduous, tiring for the poor cyclists. You work so hard for four, five hours under hot, scorching sun in the case of road race but the result will only be decided by the few extra pushes you make in the final few metres before you cross the finish line. How often you see a winner edging his opponent in the second place only by a tyre’s length?

Nevertheless, people say you will not love something until you start to learn about it. Tak kenal maka tak cinta. Only after I gained some knowledge about cycling that I started to appreciate it, and soon learn like it. And yes, there are myriads of knowledge about this backbreaking sport that you simply cannot learn by being a mere observer, especially when you watch it on TV only for a couple of minutes and you start to grumble. For instance, the cyclists’ activities in the peloton (the large group of riders you often see in road race, believe me they do not just cycle), the role of each cyclist in a team (generally everyone needs to help the best cyclist in the team), the communications made between cyclists and team coordinators during a race, the different sort of strategies that you just cannot see with bare eyes and so on and so forth. For me the best part of cycling that I learnt is the hard work put in by each cyclist be it during the race itself or in preparing for it. Rain or shine, come whatever seasons, professional riders push their bikes and train first thing in the morning for every single day, whereby each training session lasts for hours. Suffice to say, this alone allows me to look at cycling from a whole new perspective, and propels me to have a little more respect for those riders.

Anyhow, all those knowledge that I gained was actually about to turn in vain, until here comes Le Tour de France. I knew that it was coming, but influenced by natural ignorance despite now having a deeper understanding of the sport I chose not to pay too much attention to it at first. It all changed two or three nights ago when I decided to switch on the TV, and there I was, sitting permanently for the next two-and-a-half hour, keeping my eye on every single action of the race until it finished. I have not quite stopped watching since then on, and I do not see myself doing it anytime before the tour is finished. As I have already mentioned, it is just so refreshing to look at this sport from a different angle, with an extra bit of knowledge, and again, you just cannot stop admiring the incredible efforts of each rider during the race. To add to the excitement of the race, the scenery at each different stage of the tour is just breathtaking. In fact I enjoy the scenery as much as the race. I would go as far as to say that France now sits on my list of countries that I wish to visit now that I begin to see it closely through cycling. Hopefully this will someday become a reality, and I would make sure that my visit will coincide with Le Tour de France so I would be able to see it live.

Merantau, Menulis Tentang Manusia

2008-07-09T17:11:00.011+10:00

Maaf lama menyepi. Aku ke Canberra, kemudian Brisbane, merantau, melihat negeri orang. Termasuk kali ini, telah dua kali kedua-dua bandar tersebut menyambut jengahanku. Alhamdulillah, setakat ini kesemua bandar-bandar utama di sebelah timur benua ini telah berjaya kulawati.

Seronok merantau, melihat gelagat manusia. Namun begitu yang membuat aku sedikit terkilan ialah kegagalan untuk menjenguk beberapa tempat di tanah air sendiri. Kepulauan Borneo belum sekali melihat gelagatku, beberapa negeri di Semenanjung pun belum benar-benar aku terokai walaupun kaki pernah dijejakkan. Kebetulan aku baru habis membaca buku Ceritalah: Malaysia in Transition dan A Malaysian Journey, masing-masing karya hebat Karim Raslan dan Rehman Rashid. Persamaan kedua-dua buku terletak pada gaya penceritaan, di mana kedua-dua pengarang menulis berdasarkan rakaman pengalaman merantau di tanah air setelah banyak masa dihabiskan di perantauan. Pengamatan Karim Raslan dan Rehman Rashid kedua-duanya begitu mengagumkan, sambil gaya tulisan cukup membuatkan aku gentar.

Aku juga gemar merantau, dan aku simpan cita-cita untuk menulis tentang manusia di tempat-tempat berbeza yang aku lawati. Setakat ini peluang belum begitu terbuka, satu hari nanti mungkin? Oh, aku juga perlukan pitis.

Books for Winter

2008-06-25T13:43:00.005+10:00

The first thing I did after my exam ended yesterday was headed uphill to Randwick. My destination was a second-hand bookstore at Avoca Street, which has now officially become my favourite bookstore. I discovered this haven about a couple of months ago, and during that first visit I ended up buying Tariq Ramadan’s The Messenger despite the fact that I was broke, and my intention for going to Randwick had nothing to do with books. I encountered plenty of good, quality books back then, and it was enough to convince me that this must be one of the best second-hand bookstores on planet Earth. One thing though, they are a bit pricey for used books, but that is understandable given that they are of superior quality, almost like new. Newtown also has several similar bookstores, but what they lack are latest, crease-free books, two criteria that top my list when selecting books.

This time, still broke, I walked into the bookstore to the welcoming sight of Muhammad Yunus’ Creating World Without Poverty, a book that has just recently made it into my wish list having learnt that Nageb, my best friend is currently reading it. I made the usual practice of examining a few pages of the book, reading the comments on the back cover and taking a peek at the price tag (the most important thing) before deciding to put it back, a decision that was later proven to be a wise one. More on that later. I basically spent the next one hour or so glancing through the stacks of volumes arranged neatly on the cabinet in search of any title that I may be interested in. Nevertheless, I walked out of the store empty-handed, not that I did not find anything but more because I knew that there is someplace else I could head to if I were to look for similar stuffs without actually hurting my pocket.

I stopped by at the main library of the university on my way back, getting myself three books (one of them is Creating World Without Poverty that I contemplated on buying earlier) and headed home with a smile on my face. What a joy brought by this library. I just discovered recently that they have a huge range of collections that include those on my wish list, and from that point on I decided to stop buying books altogether, at least those that are crazily expensive, since I can easily get them there. Oh, did I tell you that I had already borrowed another three books before in the middle of the exams week?

I have been reading like there is no tomorrow in these past few weeks starting from the start of the study period to the point that I almost abandoned my preparation for exams. InsyaAllah while this gush is still on, I will try to continue reading, especially with winter break on the horizon. I am currently struggling with the last few chapters of Collapse, which I had abandoned since last year, and I expect to finish this book together with The Secret History of Al-Qaeda in the next few days. I have not decided yet which one to go with after this, but that should not be a difficult task given the stack of resources that I currently have with me. In the meantime, I hope you guys enjoy your holiday.

PETRONAS, Crude Oil, Fuel Prices, etc

2008-06-19T21:28:00.005+10:00

I received this email, and I thought it might be worth sharing. I could not find who the author is though but I believe it must be someone in the industry. I have never been really keen on the idea of copying and pasting stuffs on this blog- especially a long one- but this seems to be a rather important one.

Dear all, After reading all the chain mails and blogs, I feel called to reply, because of the relentless attacks and allegations- most of which are inaccurate or baseless- against PETRONAS.

PETRONAS' STAFF SALARY & BONUS

1) The salaries paid to PETRONAS' employees are not as high as people think. At best, they are just industry average. And these are not attractive enough for some who left PETRONAS to find work at other companies (mainly from the Middle East) which are willing to pay more. Why do they pay more? The oil and gas industry worldwide has been facing acute shortage of qualified or experienced personnel, so most companies are willing to pay lots of money to entice and pinch staff from their competitors. Bonus? There has NEVER been a bonus amounting to 6 months or 12 months throughout the 33 years. On average, it is 2 months. But don't ever think we don't deserve it. We more than deserve it. A lot of us work really hard, some in the most extreme of conditions. Those who have been to and worked in northern Sudan, for example, would testify that it's like working in a huge blower oven. Southern Sudan, on the other hand, is almost all swamps and mud. Imagine having to go through that kind of heat, or waddling in muddy swamps, day in and day out.

QUALITY OF CRUDE & REFINED PRODUCTS

2) Malaysia produces about 600,000 barrels of crude oil per day (and about 100,000 barrels condensate). Of this crude volume, 339,000 barrels are refined locally for local consumption. The rest is exported (and yes, because it has lower sulphur content it fetches higher prices). Malaysia also imports about 230,000 barrels of crude oil per day, mainly from the Middle East, to be refined here. This crude oil contains higher sulphur and is less expensive (so the country gains more by exporting our crudes). In Malaysia, this crude is processed by PETRONAS at its second refinery in Melaka, and also by Shell at its Port Dickson refinery. Different refineries are built and configurated to refine different types of crude. And each crude type yields different percentage of products (diesel, gasoline, kerosene, cooking gas etc) per barrel. But most importantly, products that come out at the end of the refining process have the same good quality regardless of the crude types. That's why PETRONAS, Shell and Exxon Mobil share the same pipeline to transport the finished products from their refineries to a distribution centre in the Klang Valley. The three companies collect the products at this centre accordingly to be distributed to their respective distribution networks. What makes PETRONAS' petrol different from Shell's, for example, is the additive that each company adds.

PETRONAS' ROLE, FUNCTION & CONTRIBUTION

3) A lot of people also do not understand the role and function of PETRONAS, which is essentially a company, a business entity, which operates on a commercial manner, to mainly generate income and value for its shareholder. In this case, PETRONAS' shareholder is the Government. In 1974, when PETRONAS was set up, the Government gave PETRONAS RM10 million (peanuts, right?) as seed capital. From 1974 to 2007, PETRONAS made RM570 billion in accumulated profits, and returned to the Government a total of RM335.7 billion. That is about 65% of the profits. That means for every RM1 that PETRONAS makes, 65 sen goes back to the Government. Last year, PETRONAS made a pre-tax profit of RM86.8 billion. The amount given back to the Government (in royalty, dividends, corporate income tax, petroleum products income tax and export duty) was RM52.3 billion. The rest of the profit was used to pay off minority interests and taxes in foreign countries (about RM7.8 billion- PETRONAS now operates in more than 30 countries), and the remaining RM26.7 billion was reinvested. The amount reinvested seems a lot, but the oil and gas industry is technology- and capital-intensive. Costs have gone up exponentially in the last couple of years. Previously, to drill a well, it cost about US$3 million; now it costs US$7 million. The use of rigs was US$200,000 a day a couple of years ago; now it costs US$600,000 a day. A lot of people also do not realise that the amount returned by PETRONAS to the Government makes up 35% of the Government's total annual income, to be used by the Government for expenditures, development, operations, and yes, for the various subsidies. That means for every RM1 the Government makes, 35 sen is contributed by PETRONAS. So, instead of asking what happens to PETRIONAS' money or profits, people should be questioning how the money paid by PETRONAS to the Government is allocated.

CRUDE EXPORTS & FUEL PRICES

4) A lot of people also ask, why Malaysia exports its crude oil. Shouldn't we just stop exporting and sell at cheaper prices to local refiners? If Malaysia is an oil exporting country, why can't we sell petrol or diesel at cheaper prices like other oil producing countries in the Middle East? I guess I don't have to answer the first couple of questions. It's simple economics, and crude oil is a global commodity. Why can't we sell petrol and diesel at lower prices like in the Middle East? Well, comparing Saudi Arabia and other big producers to Malaysia is like comparing kurma to durian, because these Middle Eastern countries have much, much, much bigger oil and gas reserves. Malaysia has only 5.4 billion barrels of oil reserves, and about 89 trillion cubic feet of gas. Compare that to Saudi Arabia's 260 billion barrels of oil and 240 trillion cubic feet of gas. Malaysia only produces 600,000 barrels per day of oil. Saudi Arabia produces 9 million barrels per day. At this rate, Saudi Arabia's crude oil sales revenue could amount to US$1.2 billion per day! At this rate, it can practically afford almost everything- free education, healthcare, etc, and subsidies- for its people. But if we look at these countries closely, they have in the past few years started to come up with policies and strategies designed to prolong their reserves and diversify their income bases. In this sense, Malaysia (and PETRONAS) has had a good head start, as we have been doing this a long time. Fuel prices in Malaysia is controlled by the Government based on a formula under the Automatic Pricing Mechanism introduced more than a couple of decades ago. It is under this mechanism that the complex calculation of prices is made, based on the actual cost of petrol or diesel, the operating costs, margin for dealers, margin for retail oil companies (including PETRONAS Dagangan Bhd) and the balancing number of duty or subsidy. No retail oil companies or dealers actually make money from the hike of the fuel prices. Oil companies pay for the products at market prices, but have to sell low, so the Government reimburses the difference- thus subsidy. Subsidy as a concept is OK as long as it benefits the really deserving segment of the population. But there has to be a limit to how much and how long the Government should bear and sustain subsidy. An environment where prices are kept artificially low indefinitely will not do anyone any good. That's why countries like Indonesia are more pro-active in removing subsidies. Even Vietnam (which is a socialist country, by the way) is selling fuel at market prices.

PETRONAS & TRANSPARENCY

5) I feel I also need to say something on the allegation that PETRONAS is not transparent in terms of its accounts, business transactions etc. PETRONAS is first and foremost a company, operating under the rules and regulations of the authorities including the Registrar of Companies, and the Securities Commission and Bursa Malaysia for its listed four subsidiaries (PETRONAS Dagangan Bhd, PETRONAS Gas Bhd, MISC Bhd and KLCC Property Holdings Bhd. PETRONAS the holding company produces annual reports which are made to whomever wants them, and are distributed to many parties and places; including to the library at the Parliament House for perusal and reading pleasure of all Yang Berhormat MPs (if they care to read). PETRONAS also makes the annual report available on its website, for those who bother to look. The accounts are duly audited. The website also contains a lot of useful information, if people really care to find out. Although PETRONAS is not listed on Bursa Malaysia, for all intents and purposes, it could be considered a listed entity as its bonds and financial papers are traded overseas. This requires scrutiny from investors, and from rating agencies such as Standard & Poor and Moody's.

BOYCOTT PETRONAS?

6) The last time I checked, this is still a democratic country, where people are free to spend their money wherever they like. For those who like to see more of the money that they spend go back to the local economy and benefiting their fellow Malaysians, perhaps they should consider sticking to local products or companies. For those who like to see that the money they spend go back to foreign shareholders of the foreign companies overseas, they should continue buying foreign products.

FINAL WORD (FOR TODAY)

I'm sorry this is rather long, but I just have to convey it. I hope this would help some of you out there understand something. The oil and gas industry, apart from being very capital intensive, is also very complex and volatile. I'm learning new things almost every single day. Appreciate if you could help to forward this response to as many contacts as possible to counter the subversive proposal out there. Thank you.

Hypothesis

2008-06-18T00:42:00.012+10:00

My quick glimpse at the newspaper today caught a glaring headline, about a man who was beaten to unconsciousness while looking for help for his dying mother. I was stunned. Reading through that piece of news left me brokenhearted. As if we cannot get enough of Nurins and Sharlinies, gang rapes and various other robberies.

He was an innocent chap, he came to you merely to ask for your help, but you whipped him, you robbed him. What harm would he cause you if you just leave him alone, pretending that you did not notice his call for help? Even if you are such a thug would not it be enough to just seize his belongings and leave? He was already in a deep trouble, a desperate man looking for help, what were you thinking when you decided to put your hand on him? The worst thing is you did not only ruin his life at that particular moment, but you also stole his final chance to see her living mother.

My, what has become of this country?

Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner in their book, Freakonomics suggested that the decline in the crime rates in the US in 1990s was down, somewhat surprisingly, to the legalization of abortion that was implemented a couple of decades earlier in the country, a move widely known as Roe vs. Wade. This raised not only one or two eyebrows, since many just could not see the link between an abortion law that was implemented two decades back and the impact it has on crime rates of future society. Both authors later justified that with abortion being legalized, many ‘unwanted’ children who would most probably grow up in bootless environments were they to be born, were aborted by their parents instead. Well, it makes sense that when children live in such environments, with lack of care from parents who did not want them in the first place, chances are they are going to try their hand on crime. Of course things were not that simple, but that was basically the hypothesis.

Now, would you like to listen to my hypothesis? Here goes.

If some parts of our society were to continue living in a destitute state of life, it would not be long before we hear such cases as above making headlines in our daily newspapers again and again. How many times since the announcement of the oil price hike did we hear about dads having to look for part time jobs after their day works, or families struggling to live as the result of the rise in food price? That man in my previous story went back from work at 3am to see his mom before he got beaten. What do you think he was doing that late if not looking for extra dollars to make ends meet? The living standard will go down low, people will struggle to live, and back home children will be neglected by parents who have no choice but to work extra hours just to keep the family well-off and healthy. Needless to say, crime rates especially robbery will be on the rise, while the neglected children will resort to wrong ways to find a place in the society. That is my hypothesis. Of course what mentioned is not a true representative of the society, but there is no way we can close one eye at this looming problem. I am no economic professor or well-known figure like the two authors of Freakonomics, but if I can see this problem coming but our government does not then there must be something terribly wrong with this country.

Please, do something.

Dr. Azmi Sharom's Column

2008-06-13T00:14:00.010+10:00

I am not a fan of our local mainstream newspapers. Save for a few sections in The Star that I check daily just to keep myself updated with day-to-day occurrences in the motherland, there is nothing much that I look forward to when reading our newspapers. There is an exception, however. The weekly Thursday column by Dr. Azmi Sharom on The Star under the heading of ‘Brave New World’ is a must-read for me.

I cannot recall when exactly did he start this column, or when did I first chance upon it, but it must be close to a year, if not more. What attracts me, apart from his elegant writing style and habitual witty remarks is his ability to connect to readers. Issues that he brought up are those that we often hear at coffee shops or mamak stalls, muttered by ordinary folks who do not have the right, open avenue to channel their voice out. Dr. Azmi Sharom plays his role perfectly in representing these ordinary folks in his column.

Anyway, what led me to jot down about this is the latest post by him, inspired by the recent cut of the ministers’ allowance as the result of the hike in oil price. He chose to write in a fictional style this time around, which is a bit different than his previous writings but it still makes an enjoyable reading material. A truly definitive account of the lavish life led by our dear ministers.

Keeping Close Ties

2008-06-10T20:30:00.009+10:00

I came across a number of occasions in the past couple of weeks that bring me into close contact with my batch mates again. Alhamdulillah. No, it was not that I did not try to keep myself in touch with them before. You see, the distance, coupled with the diverging life paths that we are taking now seem to have its toll on the relationship that we have worked on for the past seven years. At least that is how I felt.

I spoke to Ammar again last night for about 30 minutes. I tried to persuade myself to give him a call whenever I have a chance to, before distance plays a greater role as he is leaving for US. I will try to do the same for Nageb and Mukhlis. Ammar was his usual cheery self, despite the personal problems he claimed he was having. Now, I do not have a slightest idea what on earth his problem is, but Ammar being Ammar, I am pretty optimistic that at the end of the day he will able to handle any problem he is burdened with. Thanks to Facebook, I have also managed to exchange remarks with Kandaq, Mukhlis, Jaya, Ober and a few others. Also, a couple of days ago Jemel sent me a message on Friendster telling me about his personal problem which I would want to disclose here. It was our first interaction since probably last year, and I was just glad that he turned to me to talk about that problem (albeit the extent of that problem is in no way pleasing). Sunil, out of nowhere, started his own blog. He did also give me a nudge on Facebook yesterday, but I certainly did not expect him to be one of those who would eventually turn to blogging. Come to think about it, however, I realize that it should not be of any surprise given the fact that he was one of our few fine English debaters back then. What better way for a former debater to extend his arguments other than putting them into writings? Speaking of writing, I got a shock of my life yesterday when getting my daily dose of updates from theCICAK, as I discovered that the latest article on the website was contributed by none other than my good friend, Am. OK, I was more green with envy than shocked to be honest. I really did expect a man of his rank to someday be able to venture to such length, but I certainly did not expect it to be this early. Well, what does ‘early’ really mean anyway? Maybe I should change the definition in my own personal dictionary. Anyway, you get a bow low from me Am for that feat. Keep up the good work.

Moving on, I should be able to meet Lemi and Hasif at Brisbane come winter break. Too bad Maikel could not make it, or else it will be perfect. Zaim will come to Melbourne to start his degree next semester; that should add more excitements to this continent. I was a bit disappointed that Dino will not head down here too, but well, perhaps God has a better plan for him. Other than that, I still could not get rid of the thought of missing the chance to visit Syarel at Japan at the end of this year due to financial constraint. A good news, however, is that Que plans to come here for a short holiday in August before he leaves for UK. Let’s just hope that the plan will turn out to be a reality and I would be too busy come August.

I should end my writing here and go back to my course notes. The new oil price is certainly an excellent drive to study petroleum engineering now and do well in exams.

Curtain Falls

2008-06-06T02:33:00.006+10:00

The final class of the week had just ended yesterday afternoon, marking the end of the first semester of my second year here in this university. For the first time ever, I had a bit of melancholy at the thought of wrapping up this chapter of my student life. Perhaps it is because we, the second year petroleum engineering students managed to get to know each other better this year than we did last year, so the thought of not being able to see those familiar faces again until the next semester begins does not really please me. I must say that the sessions we had during our Business Communication class, especially the part where we had to do presentations was particularly helpful in building the close rapport between us, since it was through those sessions that we managed to know more about other persons. I may not have managed to talk to each and every people in the class until now, but the idea of being in the same class with all of them was comforting enough. I will try to speak more and be a bit friendlier when we have a chance to meet again next time, I promise.

To say that I can now embrace freedom since the class had already ended is not quite right nevertheless. I still have to sit for finals exams which will start in about one and a half week’s time, plus another final assignment is not quite done yet. However between now and exams period, I shall take a brief moment to relax and try to regain my composure. It had been a hectic 12-week of class, with workloads amount so incredible that at one point I could barely sleep at night for fear that I may not be able to get to the finish line. Alhamdulillah, at the end of the day I still managed to make it here. All in all, I should say that this semester has been a revelation for me, as it helps to define to a huge extent this career path that I am taking. If last year I was still unsure whether this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, at this point of time those doubts are all but diminished, thanks to lessons I learnt both from and outside the class. I particularly enjoyed Reservoir Engineering and Business Communication classes, since both of these improved my vision of what petroleum engineering is, and also because they set the stage for a closer relationship between us through group and individual presentations, group discussions, etc. Contrastingly, Chemical Engineering Design is a total disaster, period. I am just glad that I did not choose to become a chemical engineer in the first place. As for my two General Education courses, both had been great in diverting my attention from the core subjects, though at times they managed to become distractions as well. I particularly enjoyed my Chinese lessons especially during the second half of the semester, presumably because that was when I started to grab some sense on that new language.

This might sound a bit early, but actually I am already looking forward for next semester. I miss maths badly, and thank God I will have a chance to learn maths again in the next semester. On another note, I am still contemplating on whether to proceed with my two other General Education courses that I have enrolled in, or to swap it with a professional elective subject. The idea of learning Microeconomics for elective sounds interesting, but continuing with General Education given Concept of Physical Fitness and World Religions as my current choice do not sound too bad either. Oh, did I say that I did also think of doing History of Mathematics? History and maths are both my favourite subjects, and what better deal can you get than a combination of the two? I shall try to make my decision within this few days before I start to get swarmed by the tension of finals exams.

We will have an end-of-session lunch cum gathering at one of the restaurants at Kingsford here today. The time arrangement does not quite do justice to me since it is close to the Friday prayer, so I might not be able to stay long. It is still a good way to bid farewell to everyone nevertheless, though most of us will still be able to meet one another when the next session comes.

Lessons From A Cab Driver

2008-06-01T05:15:00.004+10:00

I went to Sydney University Village, Newtown this afternoon with some other friends for a Petronas scholars gathering. We decided to get a cab after the driver of the bus that we were supposed to take screwed up our 30-minute wait. Immediately after we got into the cab, I told the driver to drive us to SUV. I was not sure whether it was the anxiety of arriving late for the gathering, or the heat of tension caused by the long, futile wait for the bus, or simply the fact that I rarely ride a cab before, but I was half-expecting cab drivers to know each part of the region, exact locations where the passengers wish to go to. Maybe they are familiar with every road and where each of them leads to, but to know the points of thousands of places in a big city is a different story altogether and beyond logic, at least that was what I thought. All that put together triggered me to spontaneously ask the driver whether he knows where SUV is. He gave me this one look, and suggested that maybe I could show him the way. I said sure, just head down to Newtown and I would navigate him from there. Before I could add more he smiled at me cynically, and said, "I’m a cab driver, I know every part of this city!" before he burst out laughing. Hearing that, I sat motionless on the passenger’s seat and contemplated on that first lesson of the day.

That cab driver turned out to be a friendly person nevertheless; in fact that first treatment of his towards me was actually done in a friendly manner. Reacting to a conversation from the backseats, he asked me if we are from Indonesia. The first word that came from him upon discovering the truth was ‘Mahathir’. Our conversation went on and on as his cab glided towards Newtown, and I soon learnt that this kind man is from Ghana and like many other foreigners, came here to make a living. He talked about his admiration towards Mahathir, and how he wishes to visit Malaysia someday. Mahathir, he claimed, is his favourite leader and that led him to read a lot about Malaysia. Nothing was really surprising up to that point until he touched on the topic of palm oil and its importance to our country. Now, you feel proud knowing that someone like him knows so much about our country. However, having that conversation with that cab driver at the same time made me feel little. Now, do any of you know anything about Ghana? Well, apart from the fact that it is an African nation and Michael Essien of Chelsea is from there, there is not much else that I know. Lesson number two: a cab driver can sometimes be smarter than you.

Anyway, just before we reached SUV I took the chance to share with him what cab drivers in Malaysia are like. He commented a bit, and before long it was time to say goodbye. I paid the fare, thanked him for the ride and took that final chance to say that it was nice talking to him. It was indeed nice.

High-five!

2008-05-26T22:35:00.007+10:00

I captured this picture which displays the lower part of Piala Hamdan Tahir in 2006 just after CAGERS ’06 won the trophy for the third consecutive year. I was a bit mad at that time, seeing that the organizer had not yet made an effort to put down our name as the winner in 2005 after a year has passed. Of course seeing our name etched on the trophy as 2004's winner already made me proud since I was also in that winning team. But 2005 is a different year altogether; it was my own year, and I was the captain of the team. The fact that it was my second personal trophy also made a different story, since there was obviously an extra bit of pride there.

So when I received the news that this year’s CAGERS had just won the fifth PHT on the trot a few hours ago, I just could not imagine to what level of satisfaction this latest win must have brought them into, and how proud they must be feeling. I must take this opportunity to congratulate each and every one of the players for another job well done. As always, the highest appreciation must go to Mr. Liew for his undying spirit to coach the team, and also to Abang Ise and Kak Ana, as well as the rest of the old boys. I still remember back when I was still part of the team circa 2003-2005, Mr. Liew had a very clear vision of winning the trophy each year for the next five years, and he convinced us all that such feat would not be impossible if we set our goal straight. Today he has proven this, and I have nothing but a deep respect towards this man. Let’s just hope that this will not end here, but at the moment let’s just celebrate this victory!

Friends

2008-05-18T22:44:00.003+10:00

People say that if you can count the fingers on your hand and say that you have five true friends, you are a very lucky man. And if you can count enough good friends on two hands, then you are blessed.

Kolet, Kolek, Koleq

2008-05-15T23:47:00.004+10:00

Just stumbled upon this picture a moment ago from a friend’s blog, I found it funny hence the decision to share it here. It is on the T-shirt for the Old Boys Weekend 2008, an annual homecoming event for the old boys of my alma mater that was held last month.

To anyone who first got the idea for the T-shirt design, I salute you. You certainly know how to exploit the current issue.

The Kite Runner

2008-05-12T00:06:00.007+10:00

Have you seen a movie that touched you so deeply that you almost cried watching it, and you kept thinking and thinking about it few days after that? The Kite Runner did just that to me.

This a powerful story about two young boys in Afghanistan whose friendship spanned from the days before the war until the moment one of them died. This is an honest telling themed at the peculiar behaviour of young kids, how one’s act affects the course of his relationship with the other for their entire life. Soon as we ponder on the story, we will come to realize that the subject is all too familiar to everyone, not just kids. Above all, The Kite Runner explores the essence of sincerity, a quality that we rarely find today in human’s life. To the outside world, this tale also gives them a renewed picture of the Muslim world in particular Afghanistan amidst the roughness of war.

This movie started off with a scene from present time, beautifully intertwined with events of the past as remembered by the main character that would later change his future outcome. Amir and Hassan were good friends in the pre-war days of Afghanistan despite the difference in their socio-economic class, and looked set to remain so for the rest of their lives. Afghanistan in these days was wonderful, so calm, epitomized by the penchant of local kids for flying kites in the sky. Among those kids are Amir and Hassan. The former comes from a rich, well-known family and has everything a kid could ask for, while the latter is only a son of a servant and a Hazara, always dubbed as a second-class ethnic in Afghanistan. Hassan, however, always stood up for Amir in difficult times.

One fine day a plain act by Hassan suddenly threw him into trouble, and worse still Amir decided to betray his good friend during this crucial time. One quick look will lead us to suggest that such is only an act of an immature child, too young to learn the time they should stand up for dear friend. However as we analyze further, it will dawn on us that that is a natural act of mankind. We often try to avoid landing ourselves into a minor trouble, even if that means leaving the others close to fatal. This, for me is the most important issue brought up by The Kite Runner, far outweighing the value of friendship shown by Hassan.

Naturally, Amir’s betrayal act cracked the friendship of the two apart. Amir’s treatment towards Hassan turned harsh, while Hassan still remained his usual self; sincere, loyal and always tried to defend Ali despite the undeserved treatment. The invasion of foreign forces that follow soon totally separated the two, as Amir and his father chose to leave Afghanistan.

It was never told in the story whether Amir decided to forget about Hassan as time passed by. But personally, I strongly believe that he did not.

Much later Amir got a call asking him to go to Pakistan, and soon he learnt about the truth about Hassan. Amir discovered that he had a chance to be good again, but first he must return to the war-torn land of Afghanistan. I shall not disclose the plot further as I am sure those of you here who have not yet watched this movie want a sense of respect to not reveal the whole storyline.

As I already said, this is a powerful story of friendship on the land of Afghanistan. This is also a tale about standing up for people around you, and for what you think is right. Go watch it or read the original novel by Khaled Hosseini, I am sure you will not regret.

Something to Share

2008-05-03T22:50:00.008+10:00

Just to quote a bit from The Google Story, a book that I am currently reading. Sergey Brin and Larry Page, founders of Google were giving a talk to a group of Russian-born students at an Israeli school. Just like the school kids, Sergey fled Russia as a youth with his family to get away from anti-Semitism and discrimination. Because of this common experience, naturally Sergey related well with the school kids, and they in return look upon him as their hero. Here is an excerpt from his inspiring speech:

“You have several things here that I didn’t have when I was going through high school. The first one is the beautiful weather and the windows. My school in Maryland, which was built during the ‘70s energy crisis, has three-foot-thick walls and no windows. You are very fortunate to be in such a beautiful setting. The other thing we didn’t have back then was Internet access.”

Growing up I didn’t have the internet, or not in its current form, and the World Wide Web. Today, the world is very different, because each of you has the power to get information about any subject in the world. And that is very, very different from when I went to school.

You really have a lot of power that our generation did not. I think that will enable you to succeed earlier in life, and much more in life, than I did.

Finally, the most important thing I didn’t have growing up, which all of you do, is all your wonderful peers who are also very hardworking and inspiring. I shouldn’t say bad things about my peers. But my school was a little bit different. It was in the suburbs of Washington DC, and the academic standards and the children’s goal were different. You should really value what you have here with such an incredibly talented peer group. I am sure you are going to know many of your classmates for the rest of your life.”

I think all this goes back to the theme discussed earlier in Hadi's recent post, about seeing everything around us as special and learning to appreciate them more. We ought to be thankful for things we have, rather than complaining about what we do not have. Limitations should not be seen as an excuse to stop trying to reach a greater height.

Thanks Sergey for the wonderful speech. And thanks Hadi, hope you are doing fine.

Lakers Fans, We Welcome You

2008-05-02T00:41:00.011+10:00

I was browsing through Los Angeles Lakers' homepage just now to check on their updates. For the record, they had actually just completed a first-round sweep of Denver Nuggets in the NBA Playoffs and are currently waiting for their next opponent who have yet to finish their match-ups. Anyway, what I found out from the homepage surprises me:

See the advert on the right hand side there? Actually the space there runs various adverts, not only the one that promotes Malaysia. So if you do visit the homepage, I cannot guarantee this same image will pop out. But there is another tiny object on the bottom right hand corner, which is not visible in this picture, which will actually direct you to enter a contest to win a free trip to Malaysia upon clicking.

Well, of course I am aware of this sort of campaign to promote Malaysia, but I really did not expect us to go this far. Man, they are Los Angeles Lakers, one of the biggest, most successful basketball club on the planet. The huge 'Visit Malaysia' billboard at Sydney International Airport already left a very big impression on me, albeit made me question at the same time if it really is worth it to have such a broad, expensive campaign. Having now become aware of this campaign involving the Lakers, naturally it made me wonder once again, how much money did we actually put in just to get our image seen by the world.

Give Someone A Second Chance In Life

2008-04-29T23:05:00.013+10:00

TheCicak is currently running an advert of a program that helps underprivileged people to get a second chance in life. Well, they say that it is OK to just re-use their words to spread the news around, so that is exactly what I am going to do.

___________________________________________________

Do you know any underprivileged person who needs help to get ahead?

A young person who has not finished primary or high school … or someone who finished SPM, but can’t afford to go to a good college… or even single mothers… or people suffering in poverty?

Help them by connecting them to a 2 year comprehensive training and boarding program. The education, food and boarding is entirely free. The student only needs to pay for their own personal expenses. Full scholarships are offered as well.

A comprehensive training program by full-time national & international volunteers from Japan, Malaysia, England, Cambodia, Singapore and Timor Leste will help a student will learn:

Office English
Computer Skills
Marketing
Communication and practical Micro-Business skills
Leadership
Confidence
Compassion
Discipline

This program will help them secure job placements, and initiate a business.

If you know an underpriviledged person who needs a second chance in life, this is it. To find out more, visit http://www.sols247.org/cms/blog/ or contact the founder directly at 0126398442.?

Spread the word by blogging about it, feel free to link to this post and re-use the words.?

____________________________________________________

Thank you.

Sleepy Burglar - Made in Malaysia

2008-04-20T19:20:00.010+10:00

I subscribed to Yahoo! Odd News on my RSS Reader because you know, sometimes we get bored with normal daily news and want to look for something different. Yahoo! Odd News offer just that in the sense of reports on odd. funny occurences that happened around the world. However a particular news today caught my attention for a wrong reason. I wanted to laugh, but I guess that feeling was far outweighed by a sense of embarassment. Kau tu dah la polis, nak buat jahat pun cuba la profesional..

Hebat Seperti Wannard

2008-04-18T00:13:00.006+10:00

Aku punya seorang kawan, Wannard namanya. Aku tak pasti sama ada kami masih kawan, sebab sejak Wannard meninggalkan INTEC di pertengahan tahun 2006 untuk ke Kolej MARA Banting kami langsung putus hubungan.

Malam tadi siap saja assignment pukul 2.30 pagi, aku terus ke katil. Pagi ini kelas, aku mahu tidur yang cukup. Namun mata tak mampu lelap, pelik. Lantas aku teringatkan Wannard. Jangan ditanya kenapa, aku sendiri tak pasti. Hafiz dan Danni pasti gelak besar bila terbaca kisahku ini. Aku tak peduli. Gerak hatiku mengarah untuk menulis tentang Wannard.

Wannard yang kukenal ialah seorang yang hebat. Aku patut tambah ‘sangat’ sebelum adjektif ‘hebat’. Di kelas dulu, dia kerap angkat tangan menanyakan soalan. Aku dan yang lain pula cuma duduk menunggu, bilalah kelas nak tamat. Soalan Wannard bukan calang-calang. Aku ingat Mr Rosli Jee pun gementar bila nampak bayang-bayang tangan Wannard. Pernah sekali ujian Specialist Mathematics, hampir seluruh kelas gagal. Pensyarah sendiri tak komen banyak sebab itu memang subjek perah otak. Wannard? Dia dapat 94. Jangan tak percaya. Dengar saja itu aku jadi kecut. Wannard sorokkan kertas ujian itu sebaik mendapatnya, khuatir dianggap takbur aku fikir.

Tapi Wannard pelik. Aku sendiri tak pasti dari sudut mana, tapi ramai yang kurang senang dengan perangainya. Aku tak pernah ada pengalaman buruk dengan Wannard, jadi aku ambil pandangan neutral. Mungkin kepelikan Wannard yang membuatkan dia hebat. Mungkin juga darah Siamnya. Atau mungkin pendekatan pluralnya terhadap agama, itu daripada apa yang aku lihat dan dengar. Di almarinya dulu ada ditampal gambar kuda aneh, kata Wannard itulah Burak. Pelikkan Wannard?

Wannard ialah antara 50 pelajar terbaik Malaysia untuk SPM 2005, tak ramai yang tahu fakta ini. Seingat aku dia ambil 11 subjek, kesemuanya 1A. Aku tertanya kenapa dia cuma ambil 11, pada aku jumlah itu sikit, mudah baginya. Sebagai seorang non-Malay, kemahiran Wannard dalam Bahasa Melayu mengagumkan aku. Bahasa Inggeris bukanlah masalah baginya. Aku percaya Bahasa Siam juga dikuasainya.

Nadee Rahman, Paku Fakhruddin mungkin tak kenal Wannard sebab di INTEC dulu kami budak-budak PETRONAS kurang bergaul dengan yang lain, kelas pun diasingkan. Nageb, Am, Mukhlis dan Dino kenal Wannard kerana mereka semua di Kolej MARA Banting. Tapi aku tak pasti jika mereka kenal Wannard secara dekat. Mukhlis cuma asyik menceritakan apa yang peliknya Wannard. Nageb akui Wannard hebat, tapi aku tak pasti jika dia tahu sehebat mana.

Mungkin, apa yang menyebabkan aku teringatkan Wannard malam tadi ialah satu peristiwa melibatkan dia yang aku lihat sendiri di INTEC dulu. Andai aku disuruh untuk pilih satu cerita yang menggambarkan kehebatan Wannard, aku fikir inilah dia. Satu hari kami belajar Fizik, topiknya aku kurang ingat. Dipendekkan cerita, sebelum balik kami diberi assignment yang perlu dihantar esok harinya. Terkial-kial malam itu cuba menyiapkan. Kerjanya bukan senang, perlukan kefahaman dan pengetahuan mendalam. Rujukan dari internet juga penting. Maka aku habiskan malam itu, daripada selesai solat Maghrib hinggalah kira-kira 2.30 pagi bertungkus-lumus menyelesaikan assignment tersebut. Rehat cuma beberapa minit untuk solat Isya’, diselang-seli dengan gangguan oleh suara lantang Syed Jefrizil yang asyik mengusik Syed Munawir. Syed Jefrizil budak akaun, jadi kerja rumahnya tak banyak. Berbalik kepada cerita asal, selesai saja, perasaan lega yang amat. Rasa mengantuk yang dah lama aku tahan kini boleh dilayan. Tapi sebelum tidur, aku ambil keputusan melawat rakan-rakan. Ada yang masih bekerja, ada juga yang telah selesai. Tapi jawapan daripada mulut Wannard bila aku tanya bagaimana hal assignmentnya mengejutkan aku. Dia baru hendak mula. Katanya, sepanjang malam dia ada kerja lain. Aku cuba bayangkan, kalau aku ambil masa sepanjang malam, mampukah pula dia menyiapkan sebelum hari esok? Ingat, waktu itu 2.30 pagi. Pagi esok kelas bermula pukul 8, Wannard ceria seperti biasa. Aku dapat tahu dia selesai kira-kira jam lima pagi. Masa tidurnya sangat pendek. Namun sepanjang hari itu, Wannard fokus terhadap pelajaran seperti biasa. Kami yang lain parah menahan tidur. Malam tadi aku ke katil pukul 2.30 pagi, Wannard pula pukul 5, tapi kenapa aku pula yang mengantuk? Sampai sekarang aku tiada jawapan. Yang mampu aku buat hanyalah mengakui kehebatan Wannard. Rakan-rakan masih tak percaya hebatnya Wannard?

Tapi aku berjaya juga mengalahkan Wannard dalam peperiksaan pertengahan tahun di INTEC, sebelum dia keluar. Aku mendapat ranking 41. Wannard di ranking 42. Menang tipis tetap dikira menang bukan begitu? Tapi bila dilihat balik, aku kurang berpuas hati. Wannard tahu peperiksaan itu tak bawa kesan, sebab dia akan berpindah ke Kolej MARA Banting. Jadi mungkin dia tak buat sungguh-sungguh. Lagipun bila diteliti, purata markah-markah Wannard lebih memberangsangkan. Mungkin aku menang sebab subjek ESLS, markah lebih mungkin diberi oleh Miss Ong Mee Nee. Aku tak mahu komen lebih. Pokoknya, aku yakin aku tak mengalahkan Wannard dengan adil.

Apapun, Hafiz, Paku, Nageb, Miss Ong dan yang lain-lain bukanlah watak utama dalam cerita ini. Fokusnya adalah Wannard yang hebat. Malam tadi 2.30 pagi aku tak dapat tidur lalu aku teringatkan kisah Wannard yang hanya memulakan assignment fiziknya di waktu sama. Di malam lain, 2.30 pagi dah lama aku di alam mimpi. Jika tidakpun, esok pagi mesti bangun lambat. Tapi pada waktu sama Wannard masih mampu bekerja. Esoknya, dia segar seperti biasa. Nageb gemar juga tidur lambat tapi keesokan harinya, lentok juga dia di kelas. Aku kagum dengan Wannard. Aku mahu jadi hebat seperti Wannard. Tapi perangai peliknya, aku tak mahu ambil.

Remembering Lincoln

2008-04-14T20:29:00.005+10:00

"I do the very best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.."

In remembrance of Abraham Lincoln, who was shot this day in 1865 and died the next morning.

Semi-finals

2008-04-09T11:26:00.002+10:00

The Birthday Entry

2008-04-05T01:29:00.017+11:00

Well I just realized that last Wednesday, on April 3^rd to be exact was this blog’s first ever birthday. I know I started it off in April, but I was not aware that it was that early until I checked on my first posting to look for the dates. Well, what else should I say? Happy birthday!

Now because I am not the sort of person who celebrate birthday, let’s have a look at something else that I love; history, facts and a little bit of numbers.

Alright, I have mentioned in my first ever posting that this blog is merely a continuation of my Friendster blog that has existed since late 2005. I guess I shifted to Blogspot for the reason that I simply found Friendster as boring, and the layout for blogs offered by them was horrible. Convenience was probably another matter, whereby I see Friendster as lacking one. A couple or so close friends have already been using Blogspot back then so from there it was basically an easy choice.

I must state here that I stopped blogging on Friendster for a pretty long period before actually setting up a new one on Blogspot, so basically when the first few entries were posted the queasiness was there. You know the feeling when you stop doing something for a long time and suddenly decide to come back, you are a bit unsure about the reception of people around you and whether at one point in the future you would again give up on that. But Alhamdulillah, from there it was a smooth ride and the responses in particular were marvelous. I only have you guys to thank for for that.

I have written on a wide range of topics in the past one year, but the focus, if you guys do notice, is on the national front. That is my key interest, and I love to share my opinions with many of you on that. However I would not say that that will not change in the future because there are in actual fact many other subjects that I wish to venture into but have no time to. I will try to improve on that and in the meantime, you try to improve yourself. That way, you can bring a good argument next time you come to comment on my blog and we can both benefit.

Anyway, in this space of one year, I have managed to write a total of 89 entries. That is 0.244 entries per day or 0.243 if you consider the extra day in February this year, or roughly an average of one entry in four days. I was actually trying to get the figures up to 100 entries by this first birthday but you know, 11 is a big number to catch. Still, I guess 89 is not a bad number. Of course I will try to improve on that as well. Oh I should state here that out of that 89, merely two were written in Malay.

I have said many times before that I value the comments that you have left in this blog, be it a simple few words that I imagine tried to tell that you actually read what I wrote, or even long ramblings to counter my opinion. You readers are the ones who keep me going forward every single day. Trust me when I say it was a wonderful, indescribable feeling to wake up from sleep and check the email first thing in the morning, and notice that someone has left you a new comment. I have come across a various type of peoples in this journey and learned a lot from them along the way, and I do wish to continue doing this effort. In doing that, your kind cooperation is again needed and I would like to thank you in advance for that.

I reckon it is best that I stop here for now, I shall get back to normal postings soon. Thanks again.

Fifteen Minutes, That's It

2008-04-02T18:39:00.012+11:00

In the third episode, second season of The West Wing.

Toby Ziegler, the Communications Director of the White House was wondering if he could take a day off from work. It was in the wake of a shooting incident, where the President and all senior staffs escaped a lynching attempt. Toby braved himself to ask the President, since like many others, he felt that he was still mentally distracted and could not concentrate on work.

The president said sure, go and have your break, much to Toby's own surprise.

Delightfully, Toby stepped back to get out of the Oval Office but before he could reach the door, the President added;

“15 minutes.”

Toby could not believe it.

“15 minutes Toby, that's it.”

Proving Eleanor Wrong

2008-03-30T14:00:00.004+11:00

Eleanor Roosevelt forgot what important thing when she claimed that absence makes the heart grow fonder. The heart does not grow fonder for free. There is certainly a price to pay. Absence, my dear friends, makes you go through one hell of a pain first. And believe me that part is not easy.

Abou Ben Adhem & My Hope for Tomorrow

2008-03-07T10:57:00.006+11:00

Abou Ben Adhem

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An Angel writing in a book of gold:

Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the Presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?" The Vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."

"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the Angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerily still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one who loves his fellow men."

The Angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And, lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest!

- James Henry Leigh Hunt (1784-1859)

We need leaders that see their position not as an opportunity, right or privilege , but as an obligation, responsibility and duty. We need those that love, and above all, respect their people.

My prayer for fellow Malaysians to get their message sent loud and clear tomorrow. All the best Malaysia!

Malaysiakini Goes Free

2008-03-05T11:16:00.009+11:00

Malaysiakini, a renowned local independent online newspaper has decided to make its website free starting yesterday for the week leading up to the vote casting day this Saturday. Having been around for a decade, Malaysiakini promises to cater for the need of its hundreds of thousands of readers for fair-minded news and articles relating to the country, especially the ongoing election fever. So what are we waiting for people? Let's now hit the keyboard, for we need Berita Harian or The Star no more.

Campaigning for Nik Nazmi

2008-03-03T11:49:00.005+11:00

Let me tell you why I seem to be so inclined at taking the opposition stand as far as the field of Malaysian politics is concerned. No, not because I did not get a JPA scholarship. I am not a huge supporter of Anwar Ibrahim either.

But it is because of Nik Nazmi Nik Ahmad.

I came to know this guy while I was still in koleq, upon reading a wonderful fictional article in the 1999 college magazine penned by him. In the following months, I came across his name in few other occasions, including in a particular edition of Buletin MCOBA I read in which Nik Nazmi was one of the editors, the youngest of all I believe. Later I came to learn that this guy has a blog, and made an effort to check on his writings whenever I had the chance to. It is quite easy to assume that my first try at blogging world was inspired by him, albeit not directly. Beginning from those days, I would always seek and check on his updates on a regular basis; from his personal life like marriage to his rise in student bodies in both Malaysia and UK and much later in the realm of Malaysian politics.

You see, sometimes we see a person early on and we could feel some kind of intuition that tells us that what he is doing is right, and we should just follow on his path regardless of whether we do it closely or from far. We might not have any direct contact with him at all along the way but like I said, we just follow our hearts. Perhaps the link is there because Nik Nazmi, like me, is a budak koleq of later generation, much criticized for our lack of contributions to the outside world unlike in the past. Or perhaps it was because I have never seen people his age that have already gone up there to his rank, and between admiration and envy I just decided to give him sheer respect. It could also be because I was paying too much attention to him, that I kind of shut my eyes on his flaws. I really cannot explain. One thing I am fairly sure however is that he holds true to the value of Malay and Islam, which is starkly lacking in many of our leaders today, and that he loves this country so much he would wrestle any hand that tries to take it from him.

But regardless of what I felt, I am writing this piece this time around in the effort of campaigning for Nik Nazmi for his first try at entering the real politics, where he is contesting for the Seri Setia state seat in the coming General Election under the banner of Keadilan. Up against him will be UMNO incumbent Seripah Noli Syed Hussin. It is a battle between a 26-year-old novice and a seasonal player. David against goliath I shall add. Odds will certainly be against him, but with the kind of support I see he is and will be getting, I cannot see why we shall not get a new face for this Seri Setia state seat come the night of 8 March. May God be with him.

Akmal Nasir, another strong supporter of Nik Nazmi, also a two-year senior of mine at koleq also has something to say regarding this effort that I think is worth paying attention to.

I shall leave you with Nik Nazmi’s website in case you are keen to look for more information on this. Given the fact that the frequent readers of my blog are mostly my age and do not count to more than ten or fifteen perhaps, I doubt that this writing will have any significant impact on Nik Nazmi’s campaign. Thus I will appreciate if you can do more than just read and bury them in your head; just take a little step forward and start talking to your relatives and friends and its ilk into paying a closer look to Nik Nazmi’s effort. Quoting Nik Nazmi himself- we need change, we need now.

Beauty Has A New Name

2008-03-01T16:10:00.006+11:00

Peugeot 908 RC. Isn't it a beauty?

Read Between The Lines

2008-02-21T17:29:00.006+11:00

Do you get irritated by common news lines these days, ones that were quoted every now and then from the MP hopefuls? I do. I reckon here is the most famous one, appearing in our newspaper almost every day:

"Don't get fooled by the Opposition, says Datuk **"

In my opinion, what he really wants to convey to the voters in other words is this:

"Only get fooled by BN"

Clever Man, Wise Man

2008-02-20T02:57:00.002+11:00

A writer named Naguib Mahfouz (b. 1911) once wrote: “You can tell whether a man is clever by is answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions”
A clever man will always tell you answers. He will tell you things you may not care about. His purpose is to impress. To be more accurate is to see himself reflected in the reaction on your face.
A wise man will not try to convince you anything. A wise man is trying to build himself not to build you. He asks questions because he wants to learn more. He needs to learn more because he is aware of how little he knows about so many things. He is aware less of what he knows than what he does not know. A wise man will share what he knows. But you will have to ask. Otherwise he will be busy. He has his own quest. He will assume that you have your own.

Thank you The dragonheart.

Two Decades of Life

2008-02-14T03:57:00.006+11:00

It is wonderful to learn how far the great men from past as well as present generations have gone after only two decades into their lives.

Two years after the assassination of Julius Caesar, the 20-year-old Augustus, his grandnephew, was intensely in a long and bitter struggle for power in the Roman world. Alexander the Great was only 20 years old when his father died, and he succeeded to the throne without difficulty.

George Washington was a district adjutant at the age of 20, charged with training the militia in the quarter assigned to him.

At barely 20 years old, Thomas Alva Edison was already on his way to coming up with his first invention, an electric vote-recorder. Guglielmo Marconi started working on the idea of the existence of electromagnetic waves when he was only 20, after reading the experiments on a similar subject by a fellow scientist a few years earlier. That eventually led to the invention of radio. The 20-year-old Michael Faraday attended lectures by a famous British scientist and became fascinated, got hired as his assistant and within a few years came up with some important discoveries of his own.

Ibn Sina was already two years into regaining full status as physician when he was 20. Ibn Khaldun, at the age of 20, began his political career at the Chancellery of the Tunisian ruler Ibn Tafrakin.

Pramoedya Ananta Toer started writing short stories and books, as well as propaganda for the Indonesian Nationalist cause at the age of 20 while serving in a paramilitary group at the height of his nation’s war against the British and Dutch.

Bill Gates laid the foundation for Microsoft when he started working at Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry Systems with Paul Allen when he was only 20, after a successful demonstration of their Altair emulator that ran on a minicomputer, and then the BASIC interpreter.

Garry Kasparov is already a second-ranked chess master in the world when he turned 20.

Lennard Lee, a 20-year-old Cambridge medical student easily surpassed Datuk Malik Mydin’s timing en route to becoming only the second Malaysian to swim across the English Channel.

In the sporting field, Ryan Babel and Lucas Leiva, both being 20, are already first team regulars with Liverpool. Andrew Bynum is fast developing to become one of the premier centers in the NBA at the tender age of 20. The 20-year-old Rafael Nadal meanwhile broke a 29-year record of 53 consecutive clay court match victories.

Adlan Benan Omar, Imran Idris, Yazid Jay Jalani all entered Cambridge when they were 20.

Of course I am only focusing on a tiny number in a huge pool of many other great men that had lived and left substantial remarks in the long history of our world. But it is more than suffice to highlight the heights of which attained by the great figures in the first two decades of lives.

As for me, well, I turn 20 today. To date, I attended a pretty decent school, got involved in a basketball team, scored a fairly good result in the SPM and secured a scholarship to study overseas. That pretty much makes my resume. Clearly far off the ranks of the aforementioned greats.

The CNY Baketball Camp

2008-02-12T21:06:00.000+11:00

I was away since last Thursday attending a basketball camp for the Cagers that spanned throughout the entire Chinese New Year holiday period together with my former teammates Nageb, Mijie, Geto and Que at none other than the sacred ground of Kuala Kangsar. We only reached Shah Alam on Sunday morning after taking a very smooth and quiet midnight drive.

Overall, it was a very delightful two-and-a-half-day experience. The five of us got the chance to mingle with each other again after such a long time, but more importantly we managed to lend our hands to the present boys who are preparing for their upcoming tournaments. I guess we are too young to contribute financially, so coming down occasionally and playing against them are our forms of contribution and payback to the team. Too bad Ayob could not make it, or else it would have been perfect for us. Nevertheless our former junior teammates Hazwan, Qassim and Rahmat were also present to add to the excitement during the camp.

It was great to see the familiar faces of the Big School Court again, notably Mr. Liew and Cikgu Jimmy. The much-upgraded basketball facility for the Cagers was another pleasant sight to watch. The juniors of our old days now make the main team, while another generation of juniors is not far behind them, getting ready to fill up the shoes of those in front once their turn to leave comes. Each year players come and go, and with the evolution of time certain things have definitely taken a twist. But if there is one thing that will not change since the old days, it is the belief in each of them that everyone will head to the exit door one day, sooner or later as an undisputed winner. You could clearly see it from their eyes.

As for our own games, well, I guess we did quite a pretty decent job in trying to compete with the boys given that none of us had actually undergone intensive training and played seriously since we left koleq. We got beaten up by the main team pretty badly, apparently due to our lack in physical fitness. Well, I actually kind of did some jogging in the few weeks leading to the camp… to no avail. I guess it never helps going with my own pace with no one doing the timing and pushing me forward, the way we used to have it in koleq.

So how actually did the basketball camp impact us? Well, Nageb, Mijie, Geto and Que and decided to only get back to their respective places late in the evening and spent the earlier part of the day hanging out together, even though Mijie and Que actually had an exam the very next day while Nageb and Geto were also bounded by their own academic commitments. Rahmat, who was still at KK on Sunday meanwhile sent me a text message in the wee hour of the morning telling us how bored they were sans our presence (though I doubt his literal intention, those of you who were there should know what I mean) while Hazwan later revealed to me how happy he was during the last few days despite playing with a bad knee. I really am not sure how the rest of them felt towards the camp, but I for one am very glad that I was part of it.

Ragam Sebelum Pilihanraya

2008-02-06T03:52:00.000+11:00

Aku sebetulnya agak terperanjat dengan ragam dan tindakan jelas pihak kerajaan sejak kebelakangan ini dalam beberapa perkara, mungkin atas sebab tekanan dibawa oleh desas-desus pilihanraya umum akan datang yang semakin semakin kencang. Semalam ibu bapa bersama adik aku ke Stadium Melawati Shah Alam menghadiri majlis perhargaan bagi pelajar-pelajar cemerlang PMR tahun lepas. Pelajar yang terlibat dianugerahkan sijil dan wang sejumlah RM200 setiap seorang. Seingat aku selain negeri Terengganu, majlis seumpama ini merupakan yang julung kali diadakan di negara kita di mana-mana negeri. Detik hati aku, ini pasti taktik kerajaan negeri memancing undi pihak ibu bapa. Ibu aku juga berfikiran serupa. Bukannya tidak bersyukur dengan keluhuran hati pihak kerajaan negeri, cuma aku kira agak tidak patut mengeksploitasi para pelajar lebih-lebih lagi mereka yang ternyata cemerlang untuk kepentingan sendiri. Ibarat ketam yang mengajar anaknya berjalan, seingat aku pihak kerajaan sendiri yang dulu menegaskan jangan dicampur soal politik dan sekolah. Mungkin mereka ada hujah menyangkal penglibatan isu politik dalam hal ini, aku kurang pasti.

Yang menariknya upacara dilaksanakan oleh Menteri Besar Selangor sendiri, Dato' Seri Dr. Khir Toyo. Bukannya apa, Cuma melalui pengalaman aku sebelum ini aku amati beliau bukanlah selalu senang untuk mendampingi rakyat. Dua tahun lepas, di majlis anjuran Lembaga Peperiksaan Malaysia yang aku hadiri, Dr. Khir sepatutnya hadir sebagai tetamu utama. Namun di saat akhir beliau tiada di kerusi khas untuk tetamu jemputan, dan akhirnya tempatnya digantikan oleh seorang lagi tokoh politik kurang ternama. Ingin aku tegaskan di sini bahawa majlis tersebut bertaraf nasional, dan ketidakhadiran beliau tidak disertai dengan notis awal. Namun ini kurang penting jika dibandingkan dengan isu penduduk TTDI Jaya, kawasan perumahan yang aku duduki yang ditimpa banjir juga dua tahun lalu. Jangankan tiada bantuan, bayang-bayang Dr. Khir sendiri tidak kelihatan sepanjang tempoh penduduk terbabit ditimpa kesusahan. Nasihat aku, walau sibuk sekalipun, luangkan sedikit masa menjenguk rakyat negeri yang dalam kesukaran. Kerusi Menteri Besar tersebut takkan jadi milik anda tanpa sokongan rakyat. Jangan ditunggu pilihanraya baru turun padang, mengharapkan gelaran pemimpin berjiwa rakyat. Aku dengar penduduk TTDI Jaya cukup berang dengan beliau, dan andai berlaku lagi kes banjir mereka akan mengamuk di pejabat Dr. Khir. Minta dijauhkan.

Perdana Menteri sendiri tak lari dari ragamnya menjelang pilihanraya, walau isu pilihanraya ini cuba sebolehnya disorok dari pandangan rakyat. Dalam menyentuh Laporan Daya Saing Dunia 2007 yang mendapat liputan meluas media massa tempatan baru-baru ini, beliau mengucapkan syabas dan mengajak rakyat bersyukur atas kejayaan negara ‘mendaki’ ke tangga kelapan dunia dalam konteks daya saing negara-negara dunia. Cuma, apa yang tidak dibawa Perdana Menteri ke muka hadapan ialah perihal bagaimana ‘mendaki’ sebenarnya bukanlah ungkapan tepat. Hakikatnya keputusan yang diumumkan beliau telah diputar belit dan hanya mengambil kira beberapa kriteria, walhal cerita sebenar adalah kedudukan Malaysia sebenarnya jatuh jika dibandingkan dengan tahun-tahun sudah. Golongan cerdik pandai dan gemar mencari kebenaran pasti telah lama sedar akan perkara ini; analisis laporan tersebut ada di mana-mana di internet. Tidak mengapalah Perdana Menteri, aku faham ini disebabkan tekanan pilihanraya, di mana-mana pada masa ini pemimpin sibuk mahu mengambil hati rakyat.

Situasi sebegini aku lihat tak ubah seperti pelajar yang mahu mengambil peperiksaan tetapi hanya mengharapkan pada usaha di saat akhir. Bukankah lebih elok cuba memahami setiap topik pembelajaran dari peringkat awal, tak perlulah bersusah payah memerah otak bila sudah dekat benar dengan hari peperiksaan sebenar. Tak perlulah tunggu pilihanraya baru mahu datang dekat, menyumbang kepada rakyat. Bukankah tugas sebagai wakil kepada rakyat itu tiada masa cuti. Cuma mungkin yang membezakan situasi pelajar ini dengan hal sebenar yang aku cuba bawakan ialah pelajar ini tiada kuasa menetapkan corak soalan dan sekaligus keputusan peperiksaan tersebut.

Aku kira setakat ini dulu. Umur belum sampai 20, belum layak pun mengundi, jadi aku kira belum masanya untuk aku tulis panjang lebar.

Pau Gasol's Coming to LA!

2008-02-02T14:17:00.000+11:00

I was watching Los Angeles Lakers versus Toronto Raptors game a moment ago in which Kobe Bryant and the Lakers hammered the Raptors when the news erupted. Well, the live commentators were talking to each other and they mentioned the name of Pau Gasol for quite a few times, which was pretty weird since Pau was playing with Memphis. Ignorance soon turned to curiosity, and as the match progressed I paid a closer attention to their chitchatting. It was only seconds away from the final whistle that it dawned on me that the Lakers had just completed a blockbuster deal that sends one-time all star and 2006 FIBA Championship Most Valuable Player Pau Gasol to the team!

It is the news the Lakers players and fans from all around the world have been waiting for, one that will surely elevate our capacity to dream to a higher ground. It is even sweeter given the series of bad luck that has been hampering the team of late, with recent results not going our way and injuries to Luke Walton, Trevor Ariza and most disturbingly star center Andrew Bynum.

I just cannot wait to watch Pau donning the purple and gold jersey for the first time, adding more punches to the already deadly offensive forces consisted of Lamar Odom, Andrew, and spearheaded by none other than Kobe. But of course Andrew first needs to get healthy. Now here are the new team’s lineups I am imagining; Andrew, when healthy will play center, Pau as power forward, Lamar shifting to the smaller position, Kobe the shooting guard, and Derek Fisher will run the backcourt. Boy, is not this your dream starting five?

On a more personal level, this acquisition also brings a new kind of spirit to me amidst the horrible runs of my other favourite sporting team, albeit in a different kind of field, Liverpool. Anyway, here is a healthy reminder to the rest of NBA teams; buck up or be ready to get buckled by the all-new Los Angeles Lakers!

Butet's Wedding

2008-01-29T03:27:00.000+11:00

Last weekend was a blast! It was great really to see the familiar faces of my batch mates yet again, sweeter when you think that this time we gathered for once-our-custodian’s wedding. It is really amazing to watch how time flies; it was more than seven years ago when we were all swarming in the Prep School’s Common Room in fright and sweats when Butet came in and gave us hard lectures for the first time. And seven years on, now there he was, on his wedding day and about to embark on a new path of life.

Hadi has a deeper account and more photos on this, so do go check his blog. I would like to take this chance to convey my congratulatory words to Butet and his chosen partner, let us pray that they are up for a marriage made in heaven notwithstanding the distance that is going to separate them, as both are still students. As for my batchmates, I really had a good time with all of you, and there certainly is not any regret for missing out on the Petronas 3 on 3 held on the same day at KLCC.

Like A Shooting Star

2008-01-25T04:16:00.000+11:00

I received a text message from Rough early tonight that reads like this:

Allahyarham Adlan Benan Omar sedang dibawa ke Seremban (Golf Heights, Ampangan) dan akan dikebumikan di Seremban selepas Jumaat Insya Allah

The dreadful moment, one that we really did not want to hear but we know sooner or later it would eventually happen. And so it happens, today.

How ironic is that, when we are just starting to get to know a person Allah comes and decides to take him with Him. We are then left dumbfounded, not knowing where to go, shuddering to find the panic button.

I knew Allahyarham, albeit not personally, for years but only the last three or five days that I decided to find out more on this brilliant guy, and that led me to a number of writings on blogs and websites by him, and by people known to him in tribute of Allahyarham. In fact I was going through another round of reading a brilliant piece of writing by a friend fondly describing him when I received that message informing about his demise. How ironic is that.

One particular piece relates on how he always wanted to die young, that he wished to be just like a shooting star; live only for a short moment, but leave an everlasting impact to people around him. Indeed he has.

Al-Fatihah to Allahyarham, may he be placed amongst the pious in the afterlife.

Cloverfield!

2008-01-24T03:37:00.000+11:00

Well, after much hype being given leading to the screening of this movie especially by a good friend Hadi, I decided to go give it a try on its first day of screening which was last Thursday to be exact. I must admit though that my knowledge on the movie before stepping into the screening theatre did not go beyond the fact that it is another flick on a monster attacking New York.

So I sank myself into the seat, not knowing exactly what to expect. The first couple of minutes were a little confusing, as I kept asking myself if this movie was going to use the first person video camera point of view for the whole run. I never watched any movie of this kind before, so I found the concept as a little weird but anyway, creative. One thing, because it is a monster movie, with loud banging and yelling and all, this technique of filming in my opinion allows the audience to experience the impact and scary moments at their maximum. Also, by having it this way, I believe it somehow gives permission to the director not to hire top actors or actresses to act in his movie, which in turn allows for a smaller budget. Alright, enough of my two cent on this matter, now let’s move on.

The story started when a group of friends were having a surprise farewell party for one of them who was leaving for Japan to work. Now, this part was broadly elaborated, and although it kept me guessing when on earth the monster was going to surface, much later I learnt that the initial scene was highly fundamental in the build-up to the following dramas for that was when the director took the full opportunity to tell the inside story of each of his main characters. Anyway while this group of friends was having fun, the earth suddenly quaked; a sign that the monster was on his way. Now the scene is my favourite part, you guys better watch it closely; not long after those guys came out of the building, the gigantic head of the Statue of Liberty flew past them, slamming into the street of New York with incredible force followed by the screaming of New Yorkers who could still not believe what was just happening. Now I tell you, the monster was real mad. Later in the movie the audience was brought along on a journey by a smaller group of the previous friends- this time four of them- in search of another friend whom the guy going to Japan was in love with. Imagine while the rest of New Yorkers rushed to flee the city, these four were running in the opposite direction into the heart of the city, where the monster was roaring. I shall leave the rest of the way for you to find out on your own.

Another point worth noting is the ending, which while not a top-class, is still good in my opinion for a movie of this kind. I was hoping mid-way through the show for the movie not to end in another War of the Worlds’ style. You just cannot make a monster that powerful that has so easily tore down the skyscrapers of New York and caused havoc to the whole country to be easily demolished in a one-and-a-half hour movie, and under that line of thinking I guess everyone can live with Cloverfield’s ending.

Overall I must say that this is one of the best monster/horror movies I have ever seen, certainly worth my RM10. You were kept trembling throughout the entire show, but at the end of it, you just want to ask for more. At least I did.

On Alam Shah Schoolboy's Video

2008-01-17T02:08:00.000+11:00

A chap claiming himself as an Alam Shah schoolboy had made a video featuring himself and his alleged girlfriend and posted it on YouTube.

Now, if any of you have not heard about or watched this video, open up a new tab now and navigate yourself to YouTube. Type in Sekolah Alam Shah in the search field, and the first search result on the list should be the one I am talking about. No, I am not in any way promoting his video. You really need to get to know what it is all about before you should proceed to the next paragraph.

Surely this is not the worst video we have ever heard about, or for some, seen. But you also cannot negate those that clearly belong to the pool of bad ones as bad, even when you have seen a host of others being even worse.

The main point here is not that this boy is bringing stains to the good name of his school. Of course when you claim yourself coming from a school of that quality, people expect something from you. But let’s put that aside, because what is more important is that this boy is shearing the dignity of both his race and religion apart.

You do not do such act and be proud of yourself for having done so. Simple. You should actually not be doing such act in the first place. Even when you have done so, you do not make it public. OK, so you have made it public, I do not see the need for you to associate your name with that of your school. The boy is holding a grudge, perhaps? I am tempted to say that he is merely looking for cheap publicity though. Friends who had seen him doing this, why did not you stop him? Where are friends when you are needed most?

Being a product from a rival school of SAS, I can clearly easily let this case slide past my shoulder, pretending not to be aware of it. Or if I want to go a further distance, another option will be to bring it up in casual conversation and in doing so, causing embarrassment to fellow SAS allies. But no, I am not going to do that. Like I stressed earlier, this is a matter of race and religion, and thus the responsibility automatically falls to every single one of us, the Malays and Muslims. Well, of course by saying this, I am assuming that the boy is still a Muslim. Also, it is a matter of dignity. You do not lose your dignity until you take it out of yourself, just like what this boy is doing.

I have seen the comments on YouTube and this chap’s Friendster profile, whereby a number of them appeared as something like this;

Dah la awek tak lawa..
Kalau awek lawa takpe gak, buat malu je..

So here comes another problem; we all agree that what he did was not appropriate, nonetheless by saying these, it seems that a number of us actually have quite a diverse idea. I mean, are we trying to tell the rest of the world that the mistake lays only on the fact that awek dia tak lawa, and if next time he can find a charming girl to do the stunt, he will absolutely be forgiven?

Another portion of the comments sounded a little like this;

Kalau nak buat maksiat pun tak payah la bagi satu dunia tau..

I laud the effort made by these individuals in speaking their mind out. Many of us clearly are not pleased with this kind of video. But in this matter, I urge all of us to go one step further. Let us all put the case straight; maksiat, whether it is done in a poorly-lit, hidden room, or on an open field, is never allowed in the context of our religion. So stop being harsh only because he wasted our time with his low quality video, but let us channel our anger and disagreement towards curbing an issue of more significant importance once and for all, that is maksiat all over. Of course it is easier said than done, but between a person who takes a small step forward and the other who stays still, there is a huge difference.

To this Alam Shah schoolboy, we may not know each other but I wish to make it loud and clear to you that your act had been based on sheer stupidity of your own, and can never in any way be accepted.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Words

2008-01-11T01:39:00.000+11:00

Scene I

My Sony Ericsson K710i rang noisily, and I hurriedly pick it up. There was not any familiar name displayed on the screen. Must be a friend with a new number, I made a wild guess.

At the other end of the line, a Chinese man was too eager to start a conversation that he forgot to even say hello, and only stopped talking 10 seconds or so after the phone was picked up. The worst part was he was speaking in Cantonese. Or perhaps Mandarin, or Hokkien, I just could not tell between the three.

“Err, wrong number la,” I interrupted.
“Oh..”

As quickly as he first uttered his words to me, the man put off the line.

Scene II

It was five minutes past midnight, barely a week later. Same thing happened, a call from an anonymous, this time a Malay lady.

“Boleh cakap dengan ***”
“Eh, salah nombor ni..”

She immediately hung up.

For heaven’s sake, one went on to speak in a totally unfathomable language straight off, lama pulak tu, before realizing actually he talked to a wrong person, while the other called a wrong number in the middle of the night. But neither said sorry. How pathetic.

Happy Birthday

2008-01-05T01:34:00.000+11:00

Happy 7th Birthday to the Class of 2005.

I love you more than words can say.

'Kantoi', Apology and Serving the People

2008-01-04T03:39:00.000+11:00

I have been following the scandal involving former Health Minister, Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek with much interests for the past several days, and I feel called to jot down some piece of my opinion on that matter here.

Like many others, I wholeheartedly agree with the decision made by Dr. Chua to quit all government and party posts for the simple reason that that is the only way to go for him. On one hand, one might look at him as a culprit, betraying the trust of so many Malaysians by acting stupid. But let’s face it; he is just one unlucky chap who has done a wrong thing at a wrong place and at a wrong time. In everyday’s language, he is said to be kantoi. Dr. Chua is not even a Muslim, so the question of committing the crime of adultery apparently does not fall on him. That left us with only the question of trust; to his wife, his family, party members, and eventually as a prominent leader, to all Malaysians. The bad thing is the rule of human nature states that humans do not fare well at the breach of trust, thus the fate thrown at Dr. Chua. You see, the difference that determines whether someone is kantoi or its opposite is tiny, but the impact made spans a huge gap between the two. One might do a bad deed, but as long as he or she does not kantoi then he or she can easily escape from punishments and sour public perception. On the other hand those who unluckily kantoi are to face severe penalties notwithstanding whether it is their first offence or the hundredth- the first 99 of which had formerly gone down the road safely- or if it is a minor crime when those committing major ones manage to escape with ease. This is what I exactly mean when I say that Dr. Chua is just one unlucky fellow. Many others on the same ranks as him might be doing the same thing or another form of offences and treachery but escape, whether we the citizens of Malaysia realize it or not.

To come out with the declaration of wrongdoing followed by a sincere apology are noble things to do after such tragedy, and I really cannot think of any better way other than these two sincerely made by this former Health Minister. But what many of us do not seem to quite realize is that the best part to this agonizing story actually came next; 24 hours after declaring that he did not have any intention to quit his posts, Dr. Chua took a complete U-turn and quitted. The reason? More than 90 percent of Malaysians did not seem to be pleased by his decision to stay on, and true to his duty as a representative of the people who listens to public voices and not the other way round like so many times happening in the country, Dr. Chua quickly resolved to step down. I must laud this step made by him, no doubt. Admitting his own mistake, Datuk Seri Dr. Chua Soi Lek responded by rightly serving the rakyat even if that eventually translates into throwing his own life into further jeopardy.

It's Reading Time!

2007-12-28T03:36:00.000+11:00

The things that I am starting to appreciate here in Malaysia after a stint overseas, besides her cheap food, are cheap books. I have long made a list of items that I am going to bring back to Sydney in February in my head, and without a doubt books have always remain on top of the list.

Attention: To those of you who are looking for cheap new books, especially fictions, head down to Section 14, PJ. Times Bookstores are having their end-of-year clearance sales. But be quick, it ends on the first day of January.

I got myself two new books at the clearance sales which are Thomas L. Friedman’s award-winning The World is Flat: The Globalized World in the Twenty-First Century, and Al-Jazeera: How Arab TV News Challenged the World by Hugh Miles. I have been craving for the former for more than a year already and nearly bought it at Sydney last month for a price of AU$26.90. These two, I got for an unbelievable RM12 each, or slightly more than AU$4. Nevertheless my heart sank upon looking at Jared Diamond’s Collapse which I could not resist from buying six months ago auctioned for as little as RM15. As for the second book, Al-Jazeera, I did not really plan to purchase one and was actually looking for some other bestselling titles. But what can you expect from clearance sales. Though any book on Al-Jazeera is actually on my long wish list, I only decided to go with it after a long futile search of other titles. As for now, this book will sit for my bookshelf for awhile, since I believe I do not plan to read it anytime soon.

Next I went to BORDERS, The Gardens with one clear thing in mind; that I will use BORDERS’ 15% off coupon to get Tim Harford’s The Undercover Economist as well as Tun Mahathir’s celebrated The Malay Dilemma. I stepped out, however, without The Malay Dilemma. The thing was as soon as I got in I was greeted by BORDERS’ routine 3 for 2 offer, and this time around they coincidentally included The Undercover Economist, along with Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, another non-fiction in my wish list. Both books basically revolve around a same topic, and I actually thought of getting Freakonomics sometime later but try I might, I just could not resist the offer. To complete the trio, I picked up another book, this time a fiction and gifted it to my sister.

I am still midway through Collapse as of now, decided to give myself a break and have since started George Orwell’s 1984 and Dr. Ang Swee Chai’s From Beirut to Jerusalem, both being illuminating reads. For the record, I am huge fan of Orwell’s Animal Farm but have not managed to get my hand on 1984 until now, which is a shame. From Beirut to Jerusalem meanwhile is a personal account of Dr. Ang, an orthopedic surgeon who volunteered to help the Palestinian exiles during the civil war in Beirut, who also become an important witness to Sabra-Shatila massacre in 1982 and pioneered the mass Palestinians aid movements in Britain. I first heard of the book from this website, make sure you give it a look.

I should finish 1984 very soon, and will then proceed with The Undercover Economist. At the moment there is no particular preference order for other books I have bought, but surely another 239 pages of Collapse will have to wait. In the meantime I will definitely try to get The Malay Dilemma before I leave this country, and that shall complete the list.

Movies I Watched

2007-12-25T03:40:00.000+11:00

I watched a couple of new movies recently. The first one was I Am Legend, which I watched together with Nageb and Ayob- both of whom came all the way from Kangar and Tanjung Malim respectively to give me a surprise visit merely two days after my arrival- while the second one was National Treasure 2. I watched National Treasure 2 with two primary schoolmate buddies. Browsing through my blog archive, I realized that there has been only one entry on movie so far– that was Do You Remember the 20th Day of September, not even a commercial one- so I thought why not I share my personal reviews on these two new Hollywood flicks.

Let’s give it a kick start with I Am Legend, directed and played by Will Smith. I think overall the movie is OK, end of story. I was quite surprised to be frank that critics from the newspaper I read gave two thumbs up to this movie, categorizing it as a well-presented one. I have always thought that while lack in dialogue can be easily replaced by excellent play-acting and growth in plot, the same case for characters and scenes, which is happening in I Am Legend, is not quite acceptable and only makes a perfect recipe for disaster. Nevertheless as I look back, the story depicted in the movie itself- about the last man left in the New York City- is what makes it a movie and there is certainly no way to have it rectified to give ways for the two components I mentioned above. Probably by looking at it this way only we start to appreciate the works done by Will Smith and his crews; since there is simply no room left for them to improve.

Anyway as I mentioned earlier, the movie revolves around a doctor/scientist played by Will Smith who happened to be the only man left in New York trying to find a cure for a human-plagued disease sweeping over the entire human lives. Contrary to the movie tagline, there were actually other human beings on other part of the planet- a point which I found later into the movie but let’s forgive the director for that for the time being for that is not the main point. There were only five percent of people of the earth found to be immune to the disease, but the bad news was a large proportion of the five percent turned into Dark Seekers, brutal creatures who crawled out at night in search of human flesh. The doctor embarked on his journey with his dog into the empty street of the Big Apple on the day, sent out a moving radio message to the entire world by noon in search of anyone still alive, and came back home at sunset to continue his research for the cure in his underground laboratory as well as to hide from Dark Seekers. Perhaps this film scores a good point at portraying New York City without its people, as well as the occasional tense felt by the main character for being the only man left made worse by the pressure to save other human beings whom he believed were still alive. Now, if any of you are planning to go watch I Am Legend soon but do not want me to spoil the whole plot, perhaps it is a good idea to stop reading now. I could not help but being left frustrated by the ending- the doctor managed to find the cure just in time before he was attacked by the Dark Seekers, a complete cliché.

All in all it was a decent 2-hour entertainment I would say, go and watch it if you have an extra RM10 to bury but just do not set the bar too high for this movie, it certainly does not belong to potential Oscar Award Winners group.

Moving on, now let’s have a say at National Treasure 2 starring Nicolas Cage and Diane Kruger amongst all. First and foremost, I am not really into this treasure-hunting, Sherlock Holmes type of movie, so my review might not be of doubtable credibility to its fans out there. I also did not watch the prequel to make matters worse but thankfully, from my judgment one could easily grasp the idea brought by this second movie sans watching the previous one since you cannot really say they are mutually related.

The story centralizes around this one guy, played by Cage, who is desperate to clean up his family name who was accused as responsible for the famous murder of former US President Abraham Lincoln. His journey brought him to Paris, Buckingham Palace at London and The White House among them, and eventually he and a few others managed to find a secret place dubbed as The City of Gold, left by an ancient civilization once occupying the American continent. As always, the twist and turn here and there make the journey far from easy, but in the end he managed to reach his goal as many of you might have expected.

What I found most upsetting in this kind of flick though, is the way the director kind of forced the audience into thinking about his main character as someone close to perfect, by means of getting him to solve brain-teasing puzzles and problems in a matter of second, with a right answer. Alright, so the main character is an experienced treasure hunter/investigator, but there is nothing wrong with the director trying to instill a little sense of logic in the first place. Just let the hero make one or two mistake along the search, that will make the story a lot more interesting and more importantly, plausible. Apart from that I think National Treasure 2 deserves a B grade; good, but again is unlikely to land one or two awards. Oh yeah, I also do not really quite like the idea of the US President easily fooled into being kidnapped, though if you ask me, I cannot actually think of an alternative way of improving that scene.

So that is it, I guess between the two, I prefer I Am Legend for it offers something different to the viewers but then again as I look back, it must be down to my lack of interest to the theme offered by National Treasure 2 as I claimed earlier. Here I am leaving it to you to make your own choice, and whichever it is I am wishing you a good time.

Our First Disabled Senator

2007-12-20T03:44:00.000+11:00

There are not many actions in the country nowadays that get my praise. However, yesterday’s historical appointment of Prof Datuk Dr Ismail Md Salleh as the first disabled senator certainly made my day.

Blind since he was 13, this academician cum economist’ story of ascension from deep ashes straight to the top will inspire many others, and certainly there is no better reward for him than to be conferred as a senator. Of course, this will also further garner more respect to the disabled in the country, which will eventually translate to greater attention and care given to this unfortunate bunch of people.

Hats off to you Dr Ismail, you have certainly proven that there is no barrier in life and what are needed most are sheer determination as well as the willingness to work hard. The country needs more people like you especially in the people’s representative posts, there is no doubt about that.

A Blessed Land Indeed

2007-12-16T04:31:00.000+11:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. First it was the excitement of going back to Malaysia, and then there was also the need for recuperating and self-pampering back at home.

Let me share with you some of many first sights I encountered in the hour after I arrived. Well, my family picked me up from the airport. They looked great; there was not any distinct difference in them after the ten-month period since the last time I saw them. Personal life aside, we later headed back home that is in Shah Alam. It was already Maghrib by that time, and fretting that we could not make it in time for the prayers, the family decided to stop at an R&R by the name of Hentian Dengkil.

With the exception of the airport and the highway, that was my first sight of this country I love and its people after a long period overseas. People thronged in what was clearly an array of thriving business of a food court. They must be all selling halal food, I thought instantly. And cheap some more, at least compared to the ones I have in Sydney. What a pleasant first sight it was, to see that we are still blessed with every opportunity to get easy access to the thing we need for living. It was not long before I realized that it was already past seven o’clock, during which the time majority of business Down Under already called it a day.

I headed straight to the musolla after that brief moment of observing and comparing. They had this very nice musolla, adorned in a modern style with a somewhat vast praying area fit for at least 150 men at one time in my thought. Even the ablution department was very stylish that I was tempted to guess that they were mostly made up of imported tiles and stones. Looking at the lavish praying place, I could not help but recall my very own experience of praying in the middle of nowhere, at the strangest of places for a number of times because of the rarity of proper praying facility. It was awkward at first, trying to hide from public eyes that look into religious life so differently but with the flow of time, I got used to it. The fear was almost replaced by the sense of proud for being able to perform the obligation obediently. Still, finding some praying space in an open park or a parents’ room of a shopping store or a corner of a building was never easy. I finished the Maghrib prayer with a sense of relief knowing that whenever I got stuck away from home anywhere in probably the next two months or so before I fly back to Sydney, I can rest assured that a convenient praying area is just a short distance away and is not difficult to find.

We are living in a blessed land indeed my fellow friends, so blessed that sometime we just could not care to give a good look and appreciate it until we lose it. Let‘s remind ourselves to always be thankful to Him for this wonderful life we are enjoying. Have a great holiday everyone.

For My Muslim Brothers

2007-12-02T11:45:00.000+11:00

I must admit that I did not give too much attention to the issue of Palestine, which is not a good thing and is still something I am feeling guilty for. Look, being a Muslim, it is somewhat a responsibility to at least become aware of the situation of our brethrens throughout the whole world, whether they are in an okay state or not. Of course if you are more than capable to lend your hands for helps, then that is a much better thing. It is only recently that I started to push myself to do some readings over the internet regarding this matter, its history and all.

Coincidentally, I joined a discussion organized by some seniors and friends here yesterday which focused on the religion, where one of our major topics was Palestine. A beautiful coincidence indeed, perhaps a signal for me that confirmed that what I was doing was right.

Later after we were finished, I approached a particular senior, who in my thought was the most outspoken out of the speakers and asked him if he has any recommendation on some good, up-to-date and Muslims-owned websites on Palestine. He immediately suggested two; one is infopalestina.com, an Indonesian site which can be accessed in eight different languages, while the other is Malaysia-owned Palestikini.info. The former was said to offer among the most up-to-date coverage on the issue. Look, my previous readings that I mentioned earlier were from sources of untrustworthy credibility and neutrality, having derived from materials and stories according to versions of the Westerners and of course Israel in majority. That pretty much explains the need to also read and get to know stories from our own side’s point of view.

Anyway, my fervent hope is that by sharing this, I am helping all of you to also germinate some awareness on this long-existing subject affecting our own brothers and sisters in Palestine. I believe that this is the least we can, and must do.

Let us hope that the ongoing so-called peace Annapolis talk will not go into resolutions that will only cause further damage to the country and its people. Also, let us from now on pray for the safety and ultimate success of the Palestinians, for they are not merely trying to protect their lives, their families and their own country from invading powers, but most importantly those Palestinians are also defending the name of our sole religion in Islam.

He Wins, No Matter What

2007-11-30T00:43:00.001+11:00

Sitting there, amongst the 80,295 strong crowds in the Telstra Stadium and gazing to a figure right down the field who was about to take a free kick, I could not stop but wonder at the amazing impact of one man to thousands, or perhaps millions of others. This was a friendly football match between the visiting Los Angeles Galaxy and Sydney FC, featuring David Beckham.

Never mind the fact that the LA Galaxy lost 3-5 to the home team. Whatever happened on the pitch, it was obvious that the real winner of the friendly match was Beckham.

Moments later he sent the ball whooshing through the human wall made up of Sydney FC players, beyond the reach of the glove of the opposing goalkeeper, and into the top right corner of the goal. Quite expectedly, it was enough to bring the crowds to their feet and into delirium. LA Galaxy had only gotten their first goal as opposed to a triple by Sydney FC, but in the eyes of spectators, it was insignificant. They had finally got what they had they had always wanted, what they paid for.

As for Beckham, there was certainly no better way to respond to attentions given other than showing that he just deserves them.

Aussie Boy Gets the Praise

2007-11-29T10:10:00.001+11:00

Fact:

Harry Kewell is an Australian international playing for Liverpool Football Club. Having spent much of his past few months on the sidelines following a career-threatening injury, he is now back on the field and looks like to be in the contention for a first team’s place once again.

I could not help but smiled all the way through the 90 minutes of Liverpool’s 4-1 thumping of Porto in the UEFA Champions League match this morning, thanks to the match commentator of the Australia owned SBS channel, who in my judgment is an Australian himself.

Harry Kewell did not start the match. He only entered the fray midway through the second half. But that does not mean there would not be any mention of his name, in fact more than anyone else on the field.

Repeated every 5-7 minutes, was this line;

“Of course Liverpool has excellent options on the bench, with Kewell ready to be played anytime following his brilliant performance last weekend..”

I did not get to watch last weekend’s league match, but the general response from fans, from what I read suggested that Kewell’s display was just mediocre.

Then when there were mistakes by one or two players, here is what you heard;

“Ryan Babel does not seem to be playing well at the moment. We probably have a good chance to see Harry Kewell’s soon in replacement of the young Dutch..”

“Perhaps it’s a good time for Rafa to start thinking of bringing in Harry Kewell. We all know the extra dimension provided by him from the left flank of the field..”

Finally, Kewell was in, much to the delight of this commentator.

“Kewell finally comes in, certainly he will bring a new spark to Liverpool’s attacks..”

The first five minutes or so were not really good for this Australian chap, with at least a couple of turnovers to his name. But nothing in this world could seemingly stop this commentator;

“We could clearly see Kewell’s instant impact on the field. His introduction has certainly triggered Liverpool forward..”

I know he is your compatriot, but a mistake is still a mistake, admit it.

By this time I was already tired of trying to get his lines. Perhaps sensing my displeasure, this commentator decided to eventually opt for this line;

“Well not only because he’s an Australian, but considering his long injury lay-off, this kind of performance is certainly a good way of replying Rafa’s faith in him..”

No you do not have to explain that, we already knew.

Not that I have anything against the player; in fact Kewell has been one of my favourite in the team. Besides, he had some magical moments in the game, especially in the build-up of the team’s crucial second goal. But the commentator’s drama, while was proven to be something enjoyable at first, grew to become irritating at times.

Looking from the other side of the coin though, the commentator really makes a perfect example of glorifying home-grown players, which in one way or another translates into supports from channel viewers. Hasbullah Awang, Abu Bakar Atan and their colleagues should learn this trick.

Something on Australian Federal Election

2007-11-28T23:24:00.000+11:00

I went to BORDERS, Bondi Junction last Saturday and spent my whole day there. The bus that took me there followed a route that passed through two public schools. Coincidentally, it was the Election Day for Australia, and the two schools were consequentially transformed into polling places. Posters and flyers were everywhere, while there were people taking the chance to do last-minute campaign to the arriving voters. The colourful posters, coupled with the sounds made by the scurrying of the campaigners provided an election atmosphere at its best, at least from my bare eyes. As the bus continued on its way, the sight of the schools disappeared, and so did the atmosphere I was telling you about.

There were no posters or banners or whatever anywhere else, not even on the ground right next to both schools. No more men and women campaigning at the eleventh hour, nothing at all. It was weekend as usual for the Sydneysiders. In fact, I would not be surprised if all of a sudden someone who could not be bothered to read the newspapers or watch the news prior to the D-day came to me and cringed that he or she was not aware of the election. There was simply no visible sign on the street that the country was due to go to the polls, far from the Malaysian famous fashion of war of posters and banners in the running to the election. Speaking of this, I remember questioning myself as an 11-year old during our 1999 General Election upon looking at one of the many posters, what is actually the use of all those posters? Not that the onlookers will change their mind if there are more BN’s posters than PAS’ or vice versa. Hmm..

Then there were also equal campaigning rights given by the mass media. Having come from a country whose main newspaper and TV channels are heavily in favour of the government, I must say it was a bit of surprise to see campaigning adverts from all parties freely aired on local TVs, or opinion polls that clearly did not go to the government’s way in the front page of main newspaper. Perhaps the most laudable effort made by this media is in reporting faulty play by several individuals from the Liberals party, headed by the then Prime Minister John Howard, which involved distributing fake flyers from the non-existent Islamic Federation Australia and associating it with the Labour Party. Nik Nazmi has a good account on this, just in case anyone is somewhat vague about it.

Anyway my sincere congratulations go to Kevin Rudd and his newly-elected government line-ups. I must admit that apart from his promises to withdraw Australian troops from Iraq immediately, sign the Kyoto protocol and seek public apology from the Australian Aborigins, I have too little knowledge of this guy.